Just some kid from the Chicago suburbs that moved to the southwest, went to law school, and ended up confronted with shifting ideals. My thoughts...boring and unedited.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

anorexic mannequins

(for those of you that have heard this already...sorry...but i am not over it yet)

i was at american eagle tonight with a friend who was picking out jeans. i havent been in an american eagle in something like 3 or 4 years i think...not that there is anything wrong with american eagle...just not exactly my thing...

anyways, i was disgusted by the female mannequins...to say they were tiny would be one hell of a gross understatement. nobody is that small...its not even like they were the token 12 yr old girl model type...they were ridiculously small...if a small child was that size i would seriously consider notifying the department of child and family services of neglect and malnutrition...it was flat out gross.

and the really scary thing...the jeans on those mannequins werent even size 0...they were 2s and 4s. ok...that is gross...in a society where so many people are overweight we are trying to sell jeans to women that are impossible to fit into without starving yourself. its disgusting...why cant we settle in the middle instead of going to either end of the extremes. eat...please, i beg of you...just a little.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

i miss mike royko

one of the greatest american writers, possibly the greatest satirist...i was thumbing through some old columns when i came across one about veterans day and what congress should do with it...it ended with this final bit of what should be law on veterans day...

"Regardless of how high his office, no politician who had the opportunity to serve in the military, but didn’t, will be allowed to make a patriotic speech, appear on TV, or poke his nose out of his office for the entire day."

makes me wonder just how many of those folks in washington that pushed for or voted for sending troops over to iraq ever actually put on a military uniform...then i wonder how far that number would drop if you dont take into account the coast guard. not that i am one to talk...i considered the military, and have turned away from it. which also bothers me...our society is set up in such a way now that we steer our "best and brightest" away from serving their country...or even their community. of course...our best and brightest usually refers to rich, white college graduates...we seem to have no problem steering the brown folk into the military (but that is a whole nother subject).

problem is...the best military men that have made it to president have also been some of the worst presidents in history...and some of the best presidents never saw military action. but what about members of congress? are military members of congress proving to be good at their job? is anyone in congress proving to be good at their job? is it possible to be good at your job if you are in congress?

regardless...i would feel much more comfortable with civilian leadership making the decisions about sending troops into danger if they knew what that meant...really knew. i suppose we will have to wait a generation for those folks currently fighting to get into public service though. but then, isnt the generation that endured vietnam at that point now...and yet most of our leaders managed to avoid real service in europe, the pacific, africa, korea or vietnam...so maybe it is hopeless...i mean, we did manage to put a draft dodger into the white house and then follow him with an awol national guardsman...and they are the ones in charge of the military.

Monday, August 29, 2005

the end times are upon us

anyone else notice that lately it seems like end of days is gearing up to wipe out the planet? on top of the countless wars and other military conflicts, famine, genocide, rape/pillaging (you know, the usual stuff...the fun part of human nature), and the inevitable global holy war that is breaking out, mother nature has become especially pissed off as of late. record-breaking earthquakes, frightening tsunamis, hurricanes set to leave millions homeless this season, and disgusting heat waves all over the country. she's pissed.

next time you see your local cardboard wearing, bell ringing, end times preacher...shake his/her hand and thank them for their tireless work in attempting to warn us of this. tell them you're sorry we didnt pay attention sooner...that we tried to get them committed...that we just didnt understand the ramifications of humanity. then give them a kitten.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

give the gays their children

the california supreme court recently made a controversial decision...although i am really not sure how it became controversial (i mean, of course people dont like the gays...but doesnt everyone want kids supported?).

the decision basically ordered a lesbian mother to pay child support to her ex-lovers twins. the two moms had been together for a long, long time and had decided to each get a frozen pop. one had twins, the other came away with just one child. they raised the kids as a family, referred to all of them as children of the both of them...the whole evangelist worst nightmare thing...before splitting up years later. at this point, the mom without the twins felt she no longer wanted to pay for raising the twins...hence the case.

the court made her pay...mostly based on the best interests of the child (the usual child custody/support stuff). only it also mentioned parental rights of gays/lesbians and implied that any person/couple (gay or straight) that raises children as their own incur all the rights/responsibilities of a normal childrearing family. seems pretty logical...

of course this sent some closet homosexuals into an uproar over family values. groups that are extremely vocal in their advocacy of "family values" suddenly found it appalling that an adult that had been in a parental role for most of a child's life be required to pay child support. i begin to worry when hatred of gays leads to giving a big "fuck you too" to their children.

needless to say...the irony of family values groups arguing against having a mother pay child support made me realize just how many of these interests groups get backed into a corner by their own rhetoric and are forced to advocate positions that make no sense given their purpose for existence. it happens on both sides of the political spectrum...and it sure as hell makes me with that more people my age paid attention. of course, with the state of public education, perhaps it is better that young people dont take a roll...but that is a whole nother topic for another time.

Friday, August 26, 2005

giving up the chief

i did my undergrad work at the university of illinois...was an athlete there, and thus developed an affinity for the school symbol/mascot...chief illiniwek. while growing up and while at illinois i was a supporter of retaining the chief...i used the usual arguments: it is meant to be an honor, he isn't a mascot, there are indian tribes and groups that support his continuance...the usual bullshit, "its not like we're the redskins or have chief wahoo prancing around". over time my objection to getting rid of the chief began to stem more from the kids i saw protesting...those that i saw as white suburban kids looking for a cause to make them feel like their parents in the 70s because protesting is hip. of course if any other racial minority group would have been involved, i would have been appalled (such as the pekin high school chinks from good old pekin, illinois...most racist town in america...they finally changed in the late 90s).

once i came to new mexico, i fully embraced what i like to call...my crackerness. i acknowledged i was a white male, therefore privileged in this country, especially given my upbringing. i finally understood what it meant to be a white male in america, that there are things that i just have no place in the argument because i cannot possibly understand. i understood that the shit that was done "as an honor"...some of which i participated in despite what i recognize now as its degrading racial undertones...really is just some white kids playing dress up and mocking sacred traditions.

in the process, i have flipped my views on chief illiniwek (who represents a school with barely 1% indian enrollment)...i still feel that, if approached correctly, with input from indian tribes (preferably descendents of the illiniwek) it could be used as a valuable educational tool...but even then would not have a place in a halftime celebration. i also think that having the chief for this long, in the long run, may prove to bring some good out of it since without the chief, very few of those same white suburban kids would have a clue that indians are still relevant today.

the ncaa recently had a chance to put their foot down and put an end to this once and for all...of course they only half-assed it and went half way...then retracting some of it. still, their ruling gave illinois an out that would have allowed them to "save face" (an odd term considering the circumstances) with their alumni that strongly support retaining chief illiniwek. they dropped the ball.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

how we do love killing folks, even the crazy ones

there was a little poll on krqe news (with good old dick knipfing) this evening...apparently almost 4 out of 5 folks responding feel that it is entirely appropriate to utilize the death penalty when the defendant is mentally ill. now i am hoping that this is just a fluke because the people that responded were likely to feel strongly about it and are pissed off about the recent murder spree here in albuquerque...but regardless, this is frightening. sometimes i forget that it is still the south down here...and we do love killing things.

i understand that people are upset, but i am slightly horrified that so many people would have no problem putting to death a person that really did not have control of their faculties enough to understand the reality of the situation or their actions. it is appalling that so many people would have no problem with actions that are so blatantly unconsitutional as this, especially when it comes to the biggest decision ever faced in our criminal justice system, whether or not to put a defendant to death.

of course many out there will think that the mentally ill can "get away" with murder. let me assure you...if the victim actually dies an insanity defense is about 99.999999 certain to fail. not only that, but when it does work, the defendant will likely spend many, many years in civil commitment. it is not like they will be roaming the neighborhood again soon.

illegal immigration: the road to pat buchanan

after arizona and our own gov. richardson (who might i add...is an enormous disappointment and i hope his obvious attempt to gain airtime for his inevitable run at the white house ends in the destruction of his political career) declared states of emergency over the illegal immigration problem the department of homeland security was forced to put their efforts at snuffing out poor mexicans looking to better their lives. don't get me wrong...the fact that it is so easy to simply walk across the border and enter the country is a problem in this day and age...and inevitably some "evil doers" will cross this way and cause some damage, so i guess something needs to be done...and i am all about utilizing the legal methods to enter this country, if for no other reason just to be fair to those that wait...but some of this stuff is starting to sound like good old pat buchanan.

apparently we will be adding thousands of new "beds" to detain undocumented immigrants, god knows how many more patrols, and (my personal favorite) lots of fencing along the border. thank god some fencing will be there...we all know that noone will ever figure out to walk around it or bring some wire cutters. the next step is obviously the brilliant plan proposed by pat buchanan in 1996...build the equivalent of the great wall of china on our southern border. and if we managed to time it right, we could trap all the endangered species on the southern side so that we wouldnt have to worry about them when developing the southwest.

on top of all this we are adding more lawyers, for the government of course, and judges to work on deportation proceedings. this inevitably means that non-profit organizations will fall even farther behind in helping these folks to get fair hearings in a court system that does not speak their language when they are being kicked out of the country. good news for anyone interested in immigration law.

now, if you sit in any federal courtroom in new mexico for an afternoon you will realize that some very nasty folks cross that border illegally...but you will also quickly realize that it is probably a lower proportion of nasty folks than we already have here. you will also hear a lot of sad stories about families just trying to make it and give their kids the promise of a future that america offers them. these folks aren't the problem.

this leads me to actually give kudos to GW on something...migrant worker visas...actually seems like a good idea...although i am sure it will get royally fucked up along the way.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

text messages, fallen soldiers, jimmy kimmel and clean mexico

i know...random combination...but its whats on my mind at this late hour.

first off...text messages and why i hate them. people dont talk to each other anymore..i mean really have conversations. i know i am somewhat guilty myself of utilizing technology to avoid actual contact with someone...but it has gotten way out of control. text messaging must have come from the devil. now, not only can you avoid actually seeing someone because you have a phone with you 24 hours a day...but you can also avoid actually having to talk to them at all and just send them mindless shit over the phone for them to read. ah technology...how wonderful it is to stop being human.

my next gripe goes back to dying soldiers...our president (yea...dont give me that "he's not my president, i didnt vote for him" bullshit...if you are an american, this is how our system works, deal with it...maybe if you actually had taken a civics class or american history class you would understand...or perhaps you were too busy reading the latest harry potter book which you waited in line for despite the fact that you are old enough to buy your own liquor) finally mentioned the sacrifice that our boys and girls are giving overseas. its about fucking time. dont know what else to say...just its about fucking time.

next...i was watching jimmy kimmel live and he had one of his usual suspects on...guillermo. if you havent seen it, guillermo is a hispanic guy with a thick accent...basically the joke is that guillermo talks funny. while i am all for mocking anyone and everyone...it occured to me that i am rather amazed that that was on the air...on network tv. hmmm.

lastly...there are shirts you can buy online that say "new mexico...cleaner than the original." wow. not sure how to react to that one. met somebody that had one the other night...cracker...of course...probably votes democrat too and will relate to you that "some of my best friends are mexican/black/gay/insert minority group here." again...shit like this is why people run from the left. with crackerness comes privilege, with that privilege comes responsibility...live up to it.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

professional athletes should be dumped in iraq

i am from chicago (northwest suburbs actually), therefore i live and die with the cubs and bears. i love my sports and actually believe they serve an important interest in this country...if you have any doubt, look to the troops overseas using sports between missions to boost morale and ease the pain of being away from home and stuck in hell. anyways, here is my problem of the day...

the bears picked a young running back, cedric benson, with the 4th pick in the nfl draft this summer. they offered him a contract that would guarantee him 17 million dollars, on top of which he stood to make another 20 million or so. apparently that was not enough money...and he failed to show up to work for the first month so far with no signs of giving in. this is sickening...

while thousands of kids his age are risking their lives every day, many coming home in body bags, for a yearly salary that would be lower than one day of his pay...this asshole holds out because 17 million dollars plus is not enough money to play a game...a game where a death is a very rare occurance. lets give this kid one week of sweeps through any city in iraq for barely enough money to support himself and then see how upset he is over being offered "only" 17 million guaranteed dollars to play football.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

disappointment after abu ghraib and gitmo

so with all the uproar over american treatment of prisoners outside of the united states i figured that a similar uproar regarding our internal prison system would follow. never happened. sure it got a mention here and there for awhile...but then it went away. well i got news for anyone appalled at what they have heard about abu ghraib and gitmo prisoners...its worse in american prisons and it happens every single day to thousands of inmates. only nobody gives a shit. is it any wonder so many prisoners are repeat offenders?

speaking of repeat offenders...talk about a catch 22. i had the privilege to meet a man that had been incarcerated for 20 years for a brutal murder when he was younger. he was remarkably intelligent and had made an attempt to contribute upon his release on parole. trouble is they kept a very, very tight leash on him...and given his past, it is very understandable. only it made him not want to keep it up...and eventually drove him back to crime. treat a man like an animal, and he will become one. but then what else can you do? especially when nobody is willing to put the money needed into our kids in school...let alone spend money to help convicts straighten themselves out.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

would you vote for me?

my vote has never "counted" because the guy/gal i voted for has never been close to winning any election. mostly because i cannot stand either of the major parties...democrats because they have abandoned their ideals and are just as full of shit as everyone else, republicans because they are bringing shame to the party of Lincoln. my first presidential vote was a write in for myself...thought Gore was useless and GW royally fucked the educational system in texas.

anyways, i want to run for office...if you've heard me rant and rave you know where i stand on a lot of issues (although i tend to take the unpopular side in an argument, just to piss you off and make the conversation interesting). i have a problem though...the impression i get, and what i am told by friends is that my "vision" (what a crock of shit that word is in politics) will not speak to those that actually vote, and may actually turn them off. this, and despite me being an incredibly handsome and articulate young, white male...i just don't quite have the charisma to pull off a grass-roots-stick-it-to-the-fucks- in-washington kind of campaign. unless of course...you would vote for me. well, you and a hell of a lot of your friends.

and if you won't vote for me...atleast stop voting for one of the two major parties just because you think they have a chance and aren't quite as bad as the other guy/gal from the other major party. the reason we are so fucked now is that no matter how miserable they are at what they do, we send them back. send a message...kick em all out...send me in.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

how to get out of a DUI

this takes brass balls...but i promise you it will work if you pull it off...problem is, you might get shot right at the outset.

so here is how to do it...keep an open bottle of liquor in your front seat. if you've been drinking and are pulled over grab that bottle, open it and get out of the car. in the process toss your keys at the cop...or do something with them so that they aren't really in your possession. then, get on the hood of the car so the police officer can see you and proceed to chug that bottle of booze. at this point your blood alcohol level will skyrocket and you will no doubt fail any and all field sobriety tests...problem for the state is they can no longer prove that you were drunk before you chugged the booze. just make sure the cop can see you, and if there is a dashboard camera, let it catch you.

then again...the leaders of the state (namely the completely useless bill richardson) could just recognize that the easiest, cheapest solution to this so-called "DWI crisis" is to spend a bunch of money on public transportation. folks are going to get drunk...give them a safe way to get there and get home. obviously longer sentences aren't working, haven't worked for anything else...but of course we are to believe that will solve the problem. makes me wonder why i haven't run for office...but then i'd have to kiss the asses of "those" people, something i cannot do.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

the answer is 12

very long day...being unemployed and without anything to do leaves you too much time to think...too many questions you want answered. and i came up with the answer today...12. that's my answer to everything. so if you ever ask me a question from this day forward and you already know the fucking answer i will respond with 12. and then you will know you have annoyed me and not to ask me such a pointless question again.

one of my classmates is heading back to alaska. i am jealous. i very much want to leave this town...this state...this region. i dont know...its just been long enough for me. school is it...then it is time to leave. only i can't. and even if i could...i probably wouldn't.

Monday, August 15, 2005

are men really dogs?

for the most part....no. i know far more guys that prefer real women than disgustingly skinny woman in ridiculously tight clothing that showcases what underwear they happen to be wearing that day. most guys like a girl to look healthy and dress and carry herself professionally and with respect. WE WANT YOU TO EAT. we think it is gross when you dont...and we know who you are if you don't...it's easy to see and it isn't attractive. i know more women that put pressure on other women to stop eating then men.

and have you ever noticed the guys that do want a scantily clad woman so skinny she looks like a 12 yr old boy have nothing going for them (not to mention they obviously have some suppressed homosexual tendencies)? why try to please the small percentage of the population who's life's goal is to move up from bouncer to bartender and keep the 21 yr old party going until they are 60? these are the few guys that prefer a woman who doesn't think highly of herself an needs to please everyone because they are easy prey. we all know who they are...so next time you see one of them kick them in the balls if you are female or knock em out if you are male because they give the rest of us normal guys a bad rap.

in conclusion, for the women out there...eat, have curves, be merry, give us something to hold onto when we throw the arm over you at night. for those guys out there that are appalled by this...keep tending the door buddy.

Friday, August 12, 2005

does it mean you are messed up when...

the person that seems to get you the most lately and make the most sense to you is one of the most messed up people you know? i am hoping not. perhaps its just a phase. maybe its just the result of nights being surrounded by people and feeling alone. haven't had that in awhile...its wierd. takes some getting used to. i suppose thats what happens when you stop drinking yourself into oblivion on a nightly basis. not that there is anything wrong with that.

side bar - Naral dropped their add...damage already done if you ask me. i am sick of people that can't be consistent with shit...but i really dont want to get into that now. just another late night with fatigue...i should've gone out.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

why people are abandoning the left

in the past....atleast they could say "we didnt sink to that level." those times are gone. i haven't seen it, but from what i hear of NARAL's new add attacking judge roberts it makes me want to oppose abortion just to stick it to these assholes. apparently they insinuate that judge roberts actively supports domestic terrorists set on blowing up women seeking abortions. funny thing is, by that logic, all the checks we now have built into our criminal justice system that the folks on the left hold so dear (for the record, dont give me shit and call me a nazi, i am trying to get a job with the public defender....so save it) were put in place by judges that actively supported murdering, raping, wife beating, linching, you name it, they supported it. low, low move on their part. and it is shit like this that is making people run to the right. i've got news for folks like NARAL....you've lost the high ground and now you are just as big of fuckwads as the other guys.

on a side note...if you were to ask me my thoughts on Roe v. Wade i will tell you it was a poor decision. not because the result in that case was against my beliefs...i agree with the result...problem is, if you read it, it really was a poor decision. look at its precedent, then read it. it doesn't even try to really make the connection. the reasoning left it extremely exposed to attack, and the result kicked off the anti-abortion movement. consider this...if Roe hadn't been decided the way it was the majority of states were moving in that direction anyhow and those opposed to abortion were barely noticing, they were hardly a blip on the radar. while it would've taken time, abortion would probably have been a lot safer now without Roe than with it.

on that note let me explain something to people that apparently is getting lost in the process. everything judge roberts is being attacked on was done while he was practicing law, many of them as an advocate for the united states government. this means he had to represent the wishes and beliefs of his client. he had no choice....it was his job. you ask lawyers to represent you with everything they've got, and then call them murderers for doing that. HE WASN'T WRITING BRIEFS FOR HIMSELF...HE TOOK THE VIEW THAT HIS BOSS TOLD HIM HE HAD TO. get over it.

not only was he apparently an incredibly gifted appellate attorney...but i hear he did pro bono work that was a major help in stopping discrimination against gays from being written into law in colorado. another insight...you don't do work for free for a cause you are seriously opposed to...and if you do, that shows a hell of a lot of character on your side. this guy can obviously understand and argue both sides of any issue, and has many times in his career. so please....drop the bullshit and concentrate on the things that should matter in a justice of the supreme court: intelligence, legal reasoning abilities, writing abilities, integrity, character....but of course all anyone, right or left, wants to focus on is if they are a baby-killer/fascist that hates women.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

leave me alone (random musings)

why do people think they live in my house? why do people insist on asking me questions i cannot answer even if i knew the answer? why do i have to fix things for people that wouldnt give a damn about me? why do i have to give? why can't i go back to being selfish? why couldn't i remain in blissful ignorance about myself and others? why am i so tired all the time? why can't i get back in shape? why won't people call me for an interview? why can't i go back to loving this place? why can't it be november already? why can't it ever be the right time for others when its the right time for us? why am i turning anorexic?

seriously...i just want peace and quiet for awhile for once. i think people hold on to periods in their life they shouldn't. for those of you out there wondering...this year wasn't me, the booze had to stop flowing or the waterworks wouldnt have, i wasn't happy, you weren't happy, why hold on to that misery?

is it possible to be a people person but not be able to stand having people around? i think i am there. i have decided who the few are that i want to be around and i am getting sick of the charade with the rest (did i spell that right? never was good at spelling...got a C in 4th grade). it isn't that i don't like the others, i just can't deal with it anymore. maybe it's because the friendships formed in different times and its mostly the newer ones that i feel like actually know me. either way i need to leave this town.

speaking of leaving this town...why can't i be happy staying somewhere once school is done? i guess i never was too fond of this place...only that i got to share it with her. that makes everywhere seem like the perfect location though. funny how that works...location is of utmost importance...but that location just ends up following someone around.

is possible to become less cynical with age? shouldnt i be losing piss and vinegar instead of gaining it? atleast i still resent the french for their bullshit throughout history. i can hold on to that.if we want to feel good about ourselves...why dont we take western canada? there is great skiing over there...and i hear vancouver is a hell of a town for young folks to hook up.why do women wear shoes that are uncomfortable? why do jeans cost so much fucking money? why dont i have more suits? why can't i sleep?why are you still reading this? seriously...even i gave up awhile ago.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

i am useless...

i had that realization yesterday. school is done, the cat is repaired and healthy again, work dried up, no more studying to be done, the test itself is over...and i dont have a job. so after a couple days off of recovering and cleaning and preparing for the return yesterday i was useless. its a harsh feeling, that you are useless. i am contributing nothing to society at the moment. odd. maybe i should have run for mayor.

anyone else useless? what does one do w/ themselves when they reach this point? kind of over the drinking...not into illegal narcotics...so i guess i am not very good at this. i could use some pointers.