the innocent need lawyers, fat food banks, and opening day...

when i first heard about the allegations of rape committed by the duke lacrosse team i knew the inevitable storm of "athletes think they live by different rules and can get away with anything" stories was coming. sure enough, academics began to decry the "favors" that college athletes garner regularly...while i can easily chalk it off childish petty jealousy, it seems most of the country can't. let me set the record straight, 99% of college athletes do not believe they are above the law, do not believe they are entitled to better treatment or anything of the sort. in fact, the vast majority of college athletes are well aware of the fact that their ass is more closely scrutinized than the average student. for instance, recently here in albuquerque what in most cases would have been written off as a domestic dispute that the police would have written up and forgotten turned into serious felony charges simply because the man involved played football. see, as athletes, we are well aware that if we fuck up, we will be examples...there is no breathing room for an athlete, especially the 99.9% of us that are expendable to a university.

now the duke lacrosse players are being lambasted for keeping a tight lip on the events of the night of the alleged rape. my gut reaction was to be pissed at them too...if for no other reason, because they were going to bring out the "privileged athletes" stories...nevermind that it should be stories about privileged rich white schmucks taking advantage of a black woman...but that's a whole different rant. my reasonability has since returned as i have remembered there is this little constitutional thing we like to refer to as the "right to remain silent." remember your crappy cop shows people? (you know, the ones that are ridiculously unrealistic and have crappy attorneys letting their clients confess to anything and everything while they sit there).

well, the spokesman for the police department down there is now making statements to the press that because some of the players lawyered up they must have something to hide...afterall, as everyone knows, if you are innocent you should be wanting to tell everything you know...except, anyone with any experience with the criminal justice system knows that's a load of shit. police interrogations are shady business...even the courts won't let an unsubstantiated confession stand for a conviction (and if you saw the report on nightline last night on false confessions you'll understand why...of course that report didn't come out until it had a connection to guantanimo...funny how the american media doesn't give a shit about prisoner abuse and police misconduct when it is american citizens getting the brunt of it). not many people realize that our system does not really give two shits if you are innocent or not. people get arrested and think because they are innocent, in the end, it will all be taken care of. it doesn't work that way. innocent folks need protections and are entitled to make sure their constitutional rights are protected...and the simple act of retaining a lawyer says nothing more than this person has some sense...to imply that it shows guilt is disgusting and disgraceful. that officer should be ashamed.

i was watching the news hour the other night and there was a spokesperson for the world food bank on...i think it was the world food bank, if not it was some other organization that deals with world hunger. here is the really messed up part...the guy was huge...and i don't mean genetics made him a mountain of a man...i mean too many twinkies made him a mountain of a man. how incredibly ignorant is it to make the face of an organization dealing with world hunger that of an over-fed white, american male? it is so ridiculous it makes you chuckle in horror. seriously, it reminds me of the south park episode where sally struthers is jaba the hut in ethiopia. how can you take yourself seriously talking about the children dying from malnutrition when you yourself are at risk of dying from too much food? another slap the forehead and say "wow" moment.

baseball season opens this weekend. the cubs open the season on monday. and everyone knows what that means...for the first month of the season us cubs fans will tell anyone within earshot that as soon as mark prior and kerry wood are back, this will be our year. of course, by mid may we will be mathematically eliminated and the familiar "wait til next year" refrain will begin. god i love baseball.

tell everyone you're happy and order up another one...

it ain't saddam's fault, washington's inability to reform, and the pleasant worker...

bush apparently believes the sectarian problems in iraq are a result of saddam hussein being a nutjob and ruling the way he did. such a statement should be exhibit A for why history needs to be taught properly, and not just american history. if we are going to be obsessed with globalization (and don't get me started on the idiocy of the country with world hegemony obsessing over globalization...it always ends badly...but then, we don't study history, we only memorize when columbus showed up...so how would our leaders figure it out?) we might as well at least educate ourselves on the histories of the people we are going to exploit and eventually allow to pass us. i will never understand why it is so difficult for westerners to understand that these feuds (or whatever you want to call them, feud may be a little weak) are much older than whatever tyrant ruled last. a lot of these countries have fallen into civil war simply because the people within them never wanted to be united in the first place...eastern europe, the middle east, asia, africa, south america...it happens everywhere. european colonization and imperialism forced artificial borders on communities that had no need for them. now, decades and centuries later, those communities are finally able to assert themselves again because european and american interests no longer dictate they be supressed with as much vigor as they were. saddam didn't cause the problems in iraq...the west caused iraq to be made up of groups that had problems with each other.

abramoff got sentenced, but not for his corruption case, for his fraud case. expect his corruption case to mean he spends no more time in prison than the almost 6 years he got for the fraud...afterall, he's snitching. (side note - i wonder if snitching on authority figures is seen as a bad thing in prison...and in a white collar resort prison, will he still have to look out for the shank?). the senate went after lobbying reform in the midst of this. only not really lobbying reform, more like a token in name only effort that won't really change a thing. congress never will effectively address the problem that lobbyists present because it has too much at stake. if the culture of washington were to be reformed, too many of these folks would have to go get real jobs after they messed up the country while in office...and really, nobody wants to work when you can just peddle your influence on the hill. washington can't fix itself...people need to get involved again.

this morning i stopped by the convenience store on the corner to grab a drink and some of grandma's cookies (man i love those sugar-laden beauties). the woman behind the counter seems to be in there every time i go in, and she always seems to have a smile and kind word for me. it is amazing the difference that can make in your day. everyone knows of at least one person with a job like that that still goes out of their way to be pleasant and make you feel welcome. they go above and beyond in a job that most of us would rather starve than do...so to them...thanks.

stupidity, i call it freedom...

the immigration bill, corruption chicago-style, public suicide, and forcing democracy...

the senate judiciary committee pulled out the shocker (and not the index/pinkie) when it bonged the recent form of an immigration bill which passed the house with flying colors that would have criminalized to a ridiculous extent undocumented workers and apparently even jesus (as hillary let us know - but pimpin is already against the law, so jesus would have problems as it is). instead the committee put it's weight behind a bill that would allow undocumented folks to stay in the country. the way i see it, this is a brilliant political move designed to eventually settle on a plan much like that proposed by gw...and say what you want about the man, he has a sensible approach to illegal immigration. there is no way the country will go for amnesty to illegal immigrants, not in this "us against them" age, but at the same time, nobody wants to pay a couple more bucks for dinner, or for housekeeping, or for produce (you get my point)...so they do not want to just get rid of illegal immigrants all together. with the house wanting capital punishment for folks swimming the rio grande, and the senate wanting a free-for-all, it makes sense that the compromise will end up looking a lot like bush's plan...5 year worker visas, and then you have to go back and apply again.

i like the idea, not only because i think undocumented workers are a vital piece of our economy, but because allowing them to become legal means the government can regulate their treatment, wages, etc. of course this will piss of folks when they realize that they have to pay their "help" enough money to survive, but it could also provide a basis for keeping an eye on these folks, for our benefit and for theirs. undocumented workers have been shit on long enough, it's time to give them a break. and maybe if we make employers pay them what a citizen would get, more under-educated americans will be able to find sorely needed work.

former gov. ryan of illinois may get a walk today. seems after over a week of deliberations, a couple jurors were found to have criminal pasts they hid during voir dire...although there are alternates, this far into deliberations a mistrial might not be a bad bet. i love illinois politics, perfected on the streets of chicago...corruption as it once was, corruption as it should be...open, willing, productive and unapologetic. i for one am rooting for a mistrial and one more crooked politician enjoying retirement from the peace of his own home.

moussaoui wants notoriety. granted i haven't heard exactly what he said at his sentencing trial, what i have heard doesn't make any sense whatsoever. from what i can gather, if i am sitting in that jury box, it is pretty clear that this guy really wants to be important...but he really wasn't. either way...is it really necessary to spend millions of tax dollars trying to put him to death when it is already a given that he will never get out of prison? and why? because he didn't cooperate with the fuzz? because he held to his right to remain silent? all seems a little unamerican to me...or maybe that's the problem, it is all too american.

afghanistan was going to kill a man for converting to christianity from islam. the world went nuts...and now he has been released (and hopefully flown out of the country before mobs tore him apart) but american leaders had an explanation. this stuff takes time, afterall, it took the united states a century to end slavery, and we're still working on equal rights. my initial reaction was "sure, i mean, it took our hodge podge of folks two tries and about 15 years to finally get a federal government together that could last. how can we expect them to get their act together sooner?" but now i wonder...i mean, look what we did in japan after world war ii...let's be serious, if we want to impose a government on people...we've gotten pretty damn good at it over the years. hell, we've had practice all over the world for decades.

now we speak with ruined tongues, and the words we say aren't meant for anyone, it's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance...but there was once you...

paying for your president...

let the spending spree begin! it is now only 32 months until the next presidential election and already 16 since the last one...so open up your checkbooks, it is time to buy your next president. campaign fundraising is well under way, so if you want any hope of getting a lucritive seat in the next cabinet as secretary of leaf raking you best get in your millions now. if you are really smart, you will take a page out of the book of the best powerful lobbies and simply purchase the front-runner on both sides. that way, no matter who gets into the white house, your ass is covered.

but don't fret, if you can't afford to buy into both sides, you will be fine if you buy into one. i mean really, we are all well aware that if you can afford to be a major contributor to a presidential campaign these days, you are obviously at the top of society and will have your ass wiped by democrat and republican alike. and if you can't afford to contribute to either, well then no worries...you can remain content in the knowledge that the democrats will continue to tell you there must be a better way and that they care deeply about minority issues and poverty, etc., etc. only to gain control and push forward more globalization and capitilization, while the republicans will continue to tell you it is your own damn fault because you don't work hard enough...well, that and those damn foreigners that are running across the desert sands in the southwest, they are stealing your jobs and plotting to kill you! come to think of it...let me lay out the next election campaigns for you and then you can just ignore it when it starts (which will probably be in about 3 days)...

democrats: bush is satan. bush is stupid. the republican's plan doesn't work. we have a plan. no really, we do, we promise. remember the economic joy last time we had the white house? (and if you would please ignore that for most of the population those years meant a decline in standard of living since we became obsessed with the stock market, capitalization and globalization...but pundits were telling you you were better off...and who knows better than pundits?) bush lied. we can be tough on security too...we voted for the war. oh, but we only did it because he lied (we think...i mean, the polls still show it's unpopular right?). we need to do more domestically. the deficit is too high. we'll repeal the tax cuts. oh...and we forgot to mention something for the black folk...uh...hmmm...this is a tough one....we always just assumed you would vote with us forever...but, um, we have an initiative for the inner city! yea, that'll be enough.

republicans: democrats wants homosexuals to steal your children and eat them...which is obviously the inevitable result of gay marriage. democrats are a bunch of tax and spend liberals. we heard hilary participates in bill's wild orgies...with a donkey. nevermind that none of us have ever served in an actual war...the democrats are weak on national security, hell, they can't even remember if they voted for the war. if you vote democrat, you are with the evil-doers, and you will die a horrible fiery death, as will all the people you know and love. we've created a billion jobs. we're spreading democracy around the globe. did we mention the terror level is now blazing inferno red! we must band together now and stand behind a republican because they are the only ones that can protect us from attacks when they reach that color! it must be those mexicans coming over here to pick our fruit! we always knew they hated our way of life. did we mention that the democrats are godless heathens?

token third party candidate: i can't believe i'm losing to these guys.

that just about does it. save yourself the time and money...change the channel, ignore the ads, make drinking games out of the debates...either way, until we get off our asses and vote in mass for a candidate that actually represents more than a sliver of society, we will be stuck in this decadent spiral. until money is no longer the defining aspect of a campaign, we are fucked. of course, it's too damn late for that...so i suppose i will just say...in the immortal words of short round..."hang on lady, we going for ride!"

drunk as hell but no throwin up, half way home and my pager is blowin up...today i didn't even have to use my a.k....i gotta say it was a good day...

it's the accused that has the rights people...

the supreme court just heard arguments on a case examining the use of prior statements to law enforcement and 911 operators made by an alleged victim of domestic abuse during trial of the accused when the victim is not available to testify. reading reports of the questions asked by the justices it seems as though crawford will reign and the right to confrontation will continue to have teeth. this will inevitably lead to an outcry from victim's rights groups and domestic abuse survivor's groups about how the system is slanted against them and too many abusers get off without even a slap on the wrist. they will go on and on about "victim's rights" and they will have an emotionally compelling argument. but they will be wrong.

our constitution guarantees rights to a person facing criminal charges...important rights that form the foundation of our system and are vital to a fair trial process...rights like those we all know embodied in Miranda, juries, confrontation, notice of charges...things we all take for granted and never want to actually give to a criminal defendant...until it is a family member, or even us. the right to confrontation is one of the most sacred...for too long accused persons had to put up with vague charges brought by persons who never had to make an appearance at trial. the framers of the constitution set out to end these abuses.

because of the historical problems you will notice one thing when you read the constitution...victims of crime do not have "rights" in the process. every constitutional right at issue in a criminal trial belongs to the defendant...nowhere in the constitution does it say "the victim of alleged abuse has the right not to show up in court but still have their testimony heard." after the right to confrontation is expressed, it does not say "unless..." victim's rights are trendy now, and while victims of crime should have a support system in place...until our system gets a major overhaul, being put through the ringer is one of those things that happens when you accuse another of criminal behavior. and for good reason...unless we don't mean it when we claim it is better to let 10 guilty go free than condemn one innocent. of course, deep down it seems not very many people are willing to stick to that belief when push comes to shove (especially when evil-doers are involved).

if we aren't fanatical about the rights guaranteed criminal defendants horrible things happen to completely innocent people. a texas man was recently exonerated of rape for which he spent almost 20 years in prison when new dna tests excluded him as a suspect. we took almost half of this man's life from him and forced him to live in the horror of prison even after upholding his rights. there are already too many innocent in prison...and if we start abandoning constitutional protections in favor of victim's "rights" those numbers will only increase.

by hiding you're not worth a thing...

cutting corners for the bottom line and a plea to bill...

the god of globalization and it's accompanying angels of capital and the bottom line are showing some big problems for the united states now. once we became obsessed with increasing profit margins at all costs and paying ceo's ridiculous salaries to see that it is done, we let the infrastructure that supported america's rise to the top crumble. now, as a warning, comes environmental disaster in the form of 200,000 gallons of crude oil flowing into the alaska wilderness. this amid claims by maintenance workers on the line that they have been warning the company for years that the cutbacks on maintenance of the line is a problem. unfortunately, when your only concern is the bottom line, you make decisions based purely on how much money it will make your investors (and then how much that will increase your salary and stock options). that's all fine and good, but it seems it is always cheaper to allow something horrible to happen and deal with it after the fact than to prevent it in the first place, especially when you will long be retired before the true cost of profit-driven policies come home to roost. we've become programmed to think short term, maybe it's because as a nation we've only been around for a blip on the radar. the system works when responsible people are in charge, the system works during the rise of a nation, but it has shown over and over again, that after the peak, things like globalization, overcapitalization and failure to maintain the foundation of that growth leads to an epic fall for the big dog. sure BP is just one company, sure it was just one spill...but it is foreshadowing of what will happen to the country as a whole in the near future.

bill richardson went to new hampshire this weekend to celebrate saint patricks day with the folks that will have an early say in the presidential primary. bill's been to new hampshire more than once since becoming governor. why? what does a tiny state on the eastern seaboard filled with old crackers have to do with a poor state tucked into the southwest along the border filled with indians and hispanics? someone asked him if he was going to run for president while he was there...his response was "we'll see." let me answer it for you bill...no, you won't, because if you do you will be exposed for the corrupt fraud you are. but if you do decide for some inexplicable reason that you wish to subject yourself to the humiliation...i have a plea for you...since you are more concerned with promoting yourself in other states and lining your campaign box with cash than running the state you were elected to serve, do us all a favor and step aside now. it takes too much time and effort to run for president for you to be able to do your job in new mexico. so pack up, leave the governor's mansion and go run for president. let someone who cares about new mexico run new mexico, let someone that isn't using it as a stepping stone to future failed greatness take a shot at it. if you're going to cut and run, do it now.

to be myself completely i've just got to let you down...

prison and no shit there will be civil war...

i was talking with a friend about new mexico's prion riots now a few decades old. for those of you that don't know...they were nasty. and if you have ever visited a state run prison in new mexico (or anywhere in the country for that matter) prison riots and the horrible turns they take really aren't that surprising. for that matter, nor is the "relevations" of prisoner abuse in the "war" on terror...when prisoners in this country are treated as lower life forms and made to live like animals in a simultaneously fascinating and horrifying sub-culture, is it really shocking that it goes to the next level when dealing with people that were viewed as subhuman before they became prisoners?

if you have never visited a prison, or spoke to someone who has spent time in prison, i suggest you do so. it may change the way you view criminals...maybe you will even become one of the few that recognize that they are still human, no matter how hard we try to strip that from them. try to imagine being stripped of all your free will, just about every privilege you now take for granted...having to live with the constant knowledge that if anyone mentions your name as a snitch, you will spend the rest of your days looking over your shoulder trying to avoid the rath of a shank...the mental hell that must be "lock down" (whether you are put there to protect others or yourself) when you are allowed out of a small cell for all of one hour a day...imagine if your parents treated you worse than they would ever imagine treating their dog, if you were a source of amusement for them, to be beaten and humiliated for their pleasure. let's not kid ourselves, prison is not about rehabilitation in any way shape or form...it is society's vengence, plain and simple. and when it is run that way, bad things happen. treat a man like an animal, and he will act like one. prison riots are more horrible than you can imagine...but you can't just chalk it up to the criminal character of those participating.

iraq has spiraled into civil war...another big surprise. you would think we may have learned this years ago with what happened when the soviet bloc fell apart. when you force peoples that have deep-rooted historical issues with each other to live as a nation behind ficticious borders imposed by world powers after another big european war, and then keep them together and quiet through brutality and tyranny for decades, some for a century or more...there will be repurcusions. unfortunately, as in all other parts of the world that were part of imperialism on the part of the western "free" world and the "communist" (lest we forget they never made the final step) bloc, the middle east is no different. the problems in the middle east did not begin with the united states...unfortunately we are dealing with europe's parselling of the area followed by soviet intervention now...and we didn't learn from history, again.

so now we have civil war...we removed the dictator that kept it together through brute force (not to say he was not a horrible man that needed to be removed from power...only it might have gone smoother if we didn't show the "iraqi" people we didn't give two shits about them for a decade plus before "freeing" them)...the inevitable result...all this hatred, be it religious, ethnic, etc. can now bubble to the surface. we removed the leader of the state, but we did not remove the artificial state borders as defined by western european powers a century ago. did we really expect this to go any smoother than any other of the nations that were created to control peoples after colonization crumbling? civil war was bound to happen, and i have news for our leaders now...it will happen no matter how long we stay unless another tyrant is installed. call me crazy, but for some reason i foresee us going with a new tyrant.

go right back out there where you been...

the long awaited blogspot debut of The Siek Board...

everyone has one, a collection of quotes uttered after too many drinks...many are funny only to those people aware of the circumstances...some can be enjoyed by all...here is our's...prepare yourself for siekiphonics and enter the world of H.C.I.C.H.Q. via "The Siek Board"...(extra credit to those that can identify the speaker)

"over there...they have really smelly vaginas."

"and then, she goes into the smelly pussy thing."

"if i didn't already have a hot pussy before, i got one now."

"dad, stop blowin' me!"

"you're swaddled in booze and love."

"here's your excuse, and here's you." (complete with requisite hand gestures)

"ha! i beat you in real life!"

"do you know where to hide a squid?"

"i'm leakin paul! i'm leakin!"

"that's just bad fur."

"now, are those sevens in your hole?" (again, with requisite hand gestures)

"fuck off king. i'm on the prowl."

"don't lick my box."

"eww. what did i just put my hand in?"

"they're as big as my head." (yes, "they" are breasts)

"your ass is going to explode dude."

"i bet jesus was fuckin hung like a fuckin horse...if you were the son of god, wouldn't you give yourself that shit?"

"it's wet...all over my forehead."

"what's the word for god?"

"so, poker is about playing with crackers and getting drunk." (as the heavens opened up and shone a light down)

"every time i think i'm out, i'm a little in."

"and sometimes i have a penis pouch thing, and i'm not a big fan."

"leave me alone...i'm on a different drunk than you."

"at least it's not a pussy drunk...heh, drunk on pussy." (complete with creepy grin)

"i'm seeing pubes everywhere, it's all blurry...what's that all about?"

"i love it because for some reason it seems like the opening is three times as big as well."

"bacchus! you better not be eating my cookies!"

"i miss my rum man...i could do a bottle of that."

"a hot naked person is hot naked folk."

"i actually need a stick up my ass."

"we've got an army too...of freaks and sluts."

"i guess i should stop rubbing it in front of you guys."

"isn't it a little early for cootch?" "no, it's after nine."

"no! you eat my ass!"

"aww...it's penetrating..."

"how long have i been drunk?"

"what are you ewwing? (pause) EWW!"

"that's how all emotional scenes should be...with a cool ass 'dja dja dja djit'" (complete with requisite hand gestures)

"all i'm saying is that i'm drunk, and shit is startin' to move."

"mmm...it made a milkshake in my mouth."

"i'm afraid of my own ass."

"come on, not when i'm swallowing."

"i'm just trying to suck it out man."

"it just wells up and i forget to swallow."

"ooo! i was fingering that bitch!" (again, hand gestures)

close your eyes and think of someone you physically admire...and let me kiss you...

"jeopardizing" murder, america's pastime and illegal immigrants...

this morning i checked my email to see the headlines from the times and one claimed that a lawyer for the government who coached witnesses "jeopardized the death penalty trial of zacarias moussaoui." never mind that guilt is already established, never mind that, at the very least, he will spend life in prison without the hope of parole. no, one lawyers unethical coaching has "jeopardized" the government's killing of a human being. when you say it like that it sounds as though the man will go free, and we should all be appalled that this man may not be killed by the authority of the united states government. i'll admit, a case like this can really test your belief if you are against capital punishment...but to use verbage like that seems to downplay the fact that the government is seeking to kill a man, something that should at least make us all stop and think.

it reminds me of a talk i heard last year from the chief justice of the florida supreme court. he was speaking of the emotion of an execution day, and having to inform the executioner that there were no stays to be granted...and then being told "the will of the court has been carried out." as if this man wanted the other to die. i cannot even begin to fathom how that must weigh on a man's conscience...but it can't be good.

the world baseball classis is heading into round two (and don't be surprised that you don't give two shits about it, because noone in this country does). the great part of it is...the americans are already out. this is better than the american basketball team going to athens and bombing...this is america's pastime, this is our game...and the poor latin american countries and their asian friends beat us at it. if it feels this good for me...i can't imagine how good it must feel for them. ah how the mighty have fallen.

"illegal" immigration is in the news again with congress trying to put an end to it. only there is one tiny problem...without so-called illegal immigration, this country's economy would fall apart, society would crumble, and we will most certainly hasten our descent from the top. this was one thing i actually used to like about bush, he talked of helping these people avoid deportation...while his ideas may not have been very plausible, at least he was showing a recognition that hard working folks crossing the southern border were not a burden on this society, but a big part of the foundation that is holding the rest of us up. without those immigrants it wouldn't be possible for us to push our economy towards over-capitalization and allow our manufacturing infrastructure to crumble...and since that is what we all want...why are we so intent on kicking them out?

i want miss little smart girl with your glasses and all your books...

the HCIC - know him, love him, fear him...

(adapted from ian gold's "be afraid")

the HCIC ("head cracka in charge" for those of you not in the know) wants you to know the following:

there is no theory of evolution, just animals the HCIC allows to live.

when the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for the HCIC.

the HCIC doesn't read the newspaper, he simply stares it down until he gets the information he wants.

when the HCIC does a push up he is not, in fact, pushing himself up but pushing the earth down.

the HCIC doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

the HCIC can win a game of Connect-4 in only three moves.

the opening scene from "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on a dodgeball game the HCIC played in the second grade.

when the HCIC takes a shower he doesn't get wet. The water gets crackered.

the HCIC can believe it's not butter.a picture is worth a thousand words, unless it's of the HCIC, then it's worth two million.

the HCIC grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.

there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq being controlled by Saddam, the HCIC lives in albuquerque.

the show "Survivor" had the original premise of dropping people into two bucks with the HCIC, there were no survivors and nobody was brave enough to go in and retrieve the footage.

some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears HCIC pajamas.

the HCIC does not stub his toes, he accidently destroys bedframes, doors, chairs and sidewalks.

the HCIC is currently suing "Myspace" for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

the HCIC does not cut his hair, it lies low out of sheer fear.

if at first you don't succeed, you are not the HCIC.

the truth will set you free, unless the HCIC has you, in which case you're screwed.

the HCIC eats steak for every single meal, sometimes he forgets to kill the cow.

most people fear the reaper, the HCIC considers him a promising rookie.

the HCIC qualified with a top speed of 324 miles per hour at the Daytona 500 ... without a car.

aliens do exist, they just know better than to visit the planet that the HCIC is on.

they once made the HCIC toilet paper, but there was one problem: it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

the HCIC will never have a heart attack, his heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

most people know that Descartes said, "I think therefore I am." What they don't know is the quote continues, "afraid of the HCIC."

i understand you must keep moving friend, but i am heading home...

the clintons, the gays, the born-again, and polygamists...

i'm not a fan of hillary rodham clinton...i get the impression she is just as much a scumbag as her husband. and, to me, her "stand by your man no matter what" routine is not only contrived, but it reinforces double standards that make it seem acceptable, almost expected, for men to cheat on their spouses and significant others...especially men with power. i think it is unfortunate, i think she could have set an example by standing up and telling the prick "enough is enough, regardless of the convenience of our marriage, you made a promise to god and the world that i would be the one...and your escapades are embarrassing to everyone involved and humiliating to the partner at home...these boots were made for walking asshole, and i'd say they are gonna walk all over you but you would probably like that too much...so instead, i'll just say fuck you, and enjoy the curb." instead, she set the example of "girls, it's ok if your husband can't keep his dick in his pants whenever an unattractive intern offers a cigar...afterall, he is only a man, and one can't expect a man to be faithful."

that being said, i was reading a column in the albuquerque tribune today about hillary and her (un)fitness for the presidency. the author, who's name i do not know, started off with his worries over the ex-president and the senator disagreeing over the dubai port mess...and went on to say something along the lines of "if she can't lead her own husband, how can she lead the country?" wow. first off, since when is it ever the job of a wife to "lead" her husband...or a husband to "lead" his wife for that matter? and why do we always seem so shocked when couples disagree on some issues, especially political ones? haven't we figured out by now that it is possible for two people to disagree on whether a dubai company should take over in ports without it turning to fisticuffs and ruining a marriage? i mean, hell, if decades of infidelity didn't ruin it...how is a minor political disagreement going to do it?

speaking of the clintons, a recent supreme court decision upheld a law requiring schools to allow in military recruiters if they want to keep their federal funding...even if they don't like the military's policy on the gays. first off, "don't ask, don't tell" was one of the worst ideas ever during the clinton administration...up there with nafta...it has done nothing to solve the problem, and it is a shame that the institution that has been ahead of the rest of society at times in the past should be clouded by such an assinine policy. seriously, this is like telling blacks they can be in the military, but only if they wear white makeup and don't ever mention that they were born with more pigment in their skin. still, this was the right decision. federal monies come with strings attached...they always have...they always will. congress gets to decide who gets money...and congress can get lots of otherwise unconsitutional authority that we take for granted now simply by tying requirements to federal monies. my question is...which school/state will decide to truly take a stand and tell the recruiters they can't come on campus? my money is on not a damn one.

the recent law in south dakota banning all abortions not necessary to save the life of the mother will not end abortion...if anything it will come back to bite pro-lifers in the ass. this law is so incredibly over done it is doomed to failure...in a big way. whatever possessed pro-lifers to abandon their bit-by-bit approach i will never know...an approach that was slowly getting them closer to what they wanted, and getting the country closer to a middle ground that might end this ridiculous "all or nothing" debate on abortion. suppose they decided to take a page from gay rights activists without noticing the backlash that recognizing gay marriage as a right...and they shot their wad too soon. mark my words...in the end, this law will strengthen roe v. wade...too much, too soon.

speaking of gay marriage...bill maher made a good point this weekend. if you are going to recognize that marriage is a right owed to all consenting adults, if you are going to say that people have the right to marry who they choose, how they choose...and if you are going to defend gay marriage that way, than you have to say the same for polygamists. something to think about...

i've got souvenirs, but yesterday can't mean too much...(which makes me wonder if there weren't some pro-choice folks in on this as saboteurs)

bleeding the poor, veto power, and china fights back...

cutting taxes means cutting funding to programs that need it...especially when we are spending hundreds of billions on "defense"...and in new york, it is hitting home in a big way. the housing authority cannot bridge the gap between it's costs and revenue with it's reserves. with rising costs and shrinking funds from the feds (if you'll remember an earlier rant about the "most vulnerable and helpless"...yet another example of failure) the housing authority is forced to bump the cost to the tenants, many of whom can't afford what they have now. simple maintenance will now cost them, there will be fees to use a refridgerator, dishwasher, and parking fees will increase over ten-fold. this could all easily be cured by a tiny increase on capital gains and a fair tax on the insanely wealthy...noone in this country should end up on the street because there aren't enough tax dollars to assist them in putting a roof over their head. these people have children, and regardless of how you may feel about the parents, the kids did nothing to deserve living in poverty...how can we allow this?

the line item veto is back in fashion apparently...now gw is making a push to get himself a toned-down-hopefully-constitutional version of the one given to clinton in the 90's. bad. idea. genius. granted all it would give the president the power to do is force congress to reconsider specific spending measures without actually just striking them from the bill, it still has "ABUSE" stamped in big red letters all over it. this will add just one more bit of leverage for a president, an office that already has far surpassed it's power as dreamed up over two centuries ago...and sure, it worked out alright when we had good folks in office expanding that power, like lincoln and roosevelt...but after seeing the caliber of leaders being sent to occupy the west wing over the last 40 years, do we really trust that we will ever again get a leader that can use all that power without fucking everything up? not only this, but it will just open the door for yet another corruption tool for the lobby industry...get the ear of the president, and he can force congress to vote for any spending he wants by threatening to boot out specific spending to their constituents...maybe even uber-liberals can agree that if this somehow passes, thank god for a strict constructionist supreme court.

china is growing up, and as dee snyder once said "they ain't gonna take it anymore." as the united states toughens it's language on human rights abuses committed by china the next superpower went michael jackson on our collective ass, telling us "if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change." that's right...the rest of the world doesn't feel like being bullied and lectured to anymore...losing the moral high ground, or at least others finally seeing they can talk back, isn't going to be pretty. but then, really, is there a nation on the planet than can talk about human rights without being hypocritical? either way...the tide has turned...enjoy the last few years of our world hegemony...our moral, economic and military "superiority" is fading fast.

we are kings among runaways...

consequences...

get the box of old newspapers out of the closet and fire up your decade old rhetoric because it's time for "consequences"...

iran wants a non-military nuclear program...it is totally unacceptable to the united states that such a brutal regime have access to materials that may help it build weapons of mass destruction. cue the united nations and demands that iran give up it's "weapons" programs or else face the "consequences"...nobody is saying sanctions are coming yet...but there is no way we can fight a third middle eastern war...although you may wonder if our leaders recognize this, they did think it was a good idea to start up a second before the first was over...so who knows.

so iran is pissed and ready to stick it's collective thumb in the eye of the united states and the european countries with their panties in a tizzy over their use of nuclear power. russia is desparately trying to broker a deal...wow this is sounding familiar...but probably not to many western leaders, because they seem not to have even the most basic grasp of history. iran is so mad in fact, it is telling the united states that it will endure "consequences" if it continues to attempt to thwart iran's plans. perhaps i can save all interested parties some time and tell them how this will all turn out...

the united states refuses to budge on this issue with a member of the axis of evil (mainly because this member is in a region the west has been trying to conquer for centuries, ramping up it's efforts in the last hundred years...i mean, we sort of deal with the one guy that may be crazy enough to use the shit in korea...but what does korea do for us...i mean, i could still drive my hummer around if korea disappeared...but if the middle east dried up...shit, i might have to switch to a civic...the horror)...the next step brings in the united nations to impose sanctions on iran for it's "arrogance" and to make sure it does not "gain access to weapons of mass destruction" because that "would destabalize the whole region" and it's leaders "are murderous tyrants." of course the united nations imposes said sanctions, the result of which is yet another humanitarian catastrophe in the region as thousands and thousands of children starve to death before they can die of horrific cancers caused by uranium-enriched shells (interesting how we use uranium shells to bomb a country because they were trying to gain access to uranium...things that make you go hmmm) exploding in their cities for the next decade because those same bombs are needed to protect them and their neighbors when there is no access to medicine. ironically, the united nations is in charge of overseaing the death and destruction...perhaps the member nations and good ol' kofi annan forget to read the charter.

after a decade or so of this...the middle east is exceptionally pissed at the hypocracy of the united states and the united nations...and new york city explodes. iran must then be invaded to punish the "evil-doers" and the "nations that harbor them." of course the iranians will throw rose pedals at our feet for saving them from their brutal leaders...oh, but wait, forgot that we kind of made them live in squalor while injecting radiation into their lives...so they aren't too fond of us. yet another war followed by a peace that cannot be won.

so why don't we save everyone the time and trouble, and just randomly pick 4 out of 10 kids from whatever region of iran we feel will be of strategic importance and kill them now...maybe give a few of their sisters and brothers shots of uranium and poison their parents. then we can go into american middle schools now in areas where army recruiting is successful, and find a couple thousands kids that seem like they will wind up in the marines or the army...and just take them out now too. while we are at it...put a big crater where manhatten is...then we won't have to go through this nonsense again.

come closer, there's nothing wrong with holding on me...

manorexia and the "most vulnerable and helpless"...

manorexia is not a sickness...it is a life choice. at least that is what i have to tell myself once i realize how disgustingly fat i've gotten. besides, i'm not a very good manorexic...for me it usually means limiting it to one trip for fast food every other day. although i do take some pride in my pants beginning to fall down again (for awhile i didn't even need a belt...it was horrifying). so to all my fellow faux-manorexics (you know who you are...the ones that pretend like they take care of themselves and eat right and only eat a little bit...but really you are going home and eating an entire loaf of cinnamon raisin toast with butter and jelly every day. it's ok...i feel your pain...i've been there too) come out of the shadows and show some pride in your herion-addict/rockstar-like appearance. i need some support...

south dakota set up the challenge to roe...and it very well may be successful...afterall, this is a decision that had a weak constitutional foundation when it was decided...but in the meantime that foundation has been reinforced...so i wouldn't take it as a given just yet. and even if roe is overturned, remember...there are still legislative processes to protect abortion...which really was the long-term safer route to begin with...be careful what you ask for, you just might get it...and then, the backlash.

anyways, the governor said something interesting when he signed the bill..."in the history of the world, the true test of a civilization is how well people treat the most vulnerable and most helpless in their society..." while i partially agree...i think with the world "shrinking" it should be updated to include the most vulnerable and most helpless not only in their own society, but in other societies as well. and if that is the case...our civilization doesn't look so hot.

the most vulnerable and the most helpless...yes governor, they are the children...specifically the children of the poor. so i guess if condemning them to lives of poverty, heartache, the streets, drugs and crime with little hope to better their situation is noble, then we look great. i guess if taking funding away from those same children because we won't pay their teachers enough to do the second most important job in society (parenting being the first) and because the good ones refuse to simply teach them how to pass a test and actually try to educate them and prepare them for life is treating them well...then we look great. if leaving thousands to fend for themselves like animals after natural disasters is civilized, then we look great. if refusing to give the poor a fair shake in the criminal justice system because we refuse to transfer some of the tax money from building new roads for rich folks to ensuring their constitutional rights are guarded is a worthy cause, then we look great...if holding the mentally ill and retarded responsible as we would a healthy or fully developed mind so that we can get in our revenge killing is the work of a higher morality, then we look great...

and what about the treatment the most vulnerable and the most helpless overseas receive from our "civilisation"...perhaps we did some of them a favor by bombing them back into the dark ages with radioactive shells and left them to their frighteningly high cancer rates...and if we never actually call it genocide, then it isn't wrong that we don't step in to protect those vulnerable and helpless...and they need structure and order, so propping up repressive, murderous regimes really benefits them...and i suppose participating, either directly or through complacency, in holocaust after holocaust made the victim peoples stronger...and withholding medicine and food was the only way to protect them from the leader we let slaughter them after promises of assistance went broken...and to save them from communism, we had no choice but to burn their villages to the ground with chemical agents...

yes governor, the true test of a civilisation is indeed how it treats the "most vulnerable and most helpless"...problem is, our track record isn't very good. but hell, if now we will protect the unborn, undeveloped child so that it may be born into a life that very few of us would choose...then i for one am convinced that we are civilized.

as you dream your dreams you get to realize your fantasies...and that's what helps to keep you alive, and helps you to survive, and keep a youthful look in your eye as you try to get by and make something of your life.

all i ask...

that the rich stop getting richer while the poor just get drunk...

that the ranks of the district attorney's office, the most powerful position in criminal law, not be filled with self-righteous, throw-away-the-key, it's-not-a-victory-unless-there-is-a-lenghty-sentence, power-hungry attorneys...

that those same folks are replaced by some that understand the importance of their role, and use it accordingly...

that students not be led away by police and questioned by secret service agents for yelling "war criminal" at clinton during a recent question and answer session (yes, dissent is punished by both parties)...

that it be possible to have an honest discussion in this country about issues such as abortion, and why we send hundreds of thousands of our husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters to a desert land across the globe...

that in the richest country in the world it be possible to have choices after schooling, and not be sandbagged by outrageous debt which makes it impossible to do work for the community...that the president means it when he calls for his "fellow citizens" to take work for their community and not respond to his call by cutting funding to those programs that need it most in the communities...

that we meant it everytime we told someone we forgave them...

that qualifications for leadership in this country no longer be restricted to "able to raise truckloads of cash" while "rallying the base"...

that instead of staying home on election day because neither of the two major parties really represent anyone but the elite, people showed up in a mass populist movement to boot their sorry asses out of office and take back their government...

that the replacements waited to split until i got to see them live...

that muddy waters were still alive...

that you don't trash me to those close to me when the times i met you i went out of my way to be considerate to you even when i had every reason not to...

that at least the majority of people getting into professional school were not petty, childish, and far to full of themselves (usually, for no good reason)...

that good love be as easy to keep as it is to find...

that i not be teased with the wettest winter...only to have it followed up by the worst drought ever...

that my building be taller...

that the sun go away for a day or two...

that teachers be paid according to their importance in our lives, and that the best ones get praised for it, not reprimanded for rocking the boat...

that i not feel like this is well-deserved payback...

that i had the means, or just the balls, to pack up and leave all this...

that this country not have squandered it's oppurtunity to truly be a "beacon upon a hill"...

that barrack obama not get sucked into the washington game...

that we stop worshipping the false god of globalization before it is too late...

that i be able to sleep again...

that i get to keep my travel companion...

that it not be so hard to stay alive when there's so much living to do...

that the united nations and all it's member states actually live up to it's purpose...

that it not be surprising that wheaties chose cheeks for the post-olympic box cover...

that the government follow the rules when it is throwing all it's vast resources at "criminals" and at least try to make it appear like a fair process...

that i not hate this place so much...

that it not feel like five hundred midnights have passed since i held you last.

you know that i made a mistake...you know that i would stand face to face...if you would only turn around...

god forbid a teacher makes the kids think...

a denver teacher is on unpaid leave for choosing the wrong method to ask his kids to think critically about history and it's connection to the present and to look at the world and current events with an equally critical eye. apparently after the latest state of the union address he told his kids the speech sounded somewhat hitleresque...and went on a short tirade of examples of american abuses of power. in this day and age that can cost you your job...one of the kids recorded it on his mp3 player...and now the teacher is on unpaid leave.

i think the method was probably not the best choice, and that it could have been approached in a much less abrasive and confrontational manner, especially in a high school setting where kids may not understand what is going on and feel personally attacked by comments like that. i think the point could have been made in a way to get the kids to think about things without doing it in such a way that he probably lost a bunch of the kids right off the bat. speaking from experience, when someone starts talking like that...even if you don't agree with the other side, you can get overly defensive and stop listening to what they have to say. which is always a shame.

that being said...i am still appalled that this teacher is not on unpaid leave. i think he had a very valid point...and those kids probably thought about things that they hadn't...and maybe some of them even began to think of arguments to refute what their teacher said. either way, i'd be willing to bet that it was the first time in a long, long time that any of their teachers took the chance to step out of the box of standardized tests and make them think critically...and now they've lost that teacher.

that, and i wonder if the teacher would be subject to unpaid leave if the comparison to nazi germany was made with the plo or al queda. big brother baby...all the way.

i think this might have been the worst day of my life...really testing the limits of my sanity and sobriety tonight.

there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade...and here i rest, where disappointment and regret collide, lying awake at night...

my head's in some kind of space where boyhood used to be...

too much time to think as of late has left me missing things from better times...so here is another random list that means nothing to anyone but me...i miss...

wrapping my arms around the waist of the one washing dishes...

being wrapped around while washing the dishes...

youthful arrogance...sometimes confused with piss and vinegar...

getting in the way of sketching on the hills between allen hall and par...

watching the stairs from the sidewalk in the wee hours of the morning...

the guys at 503 stoughton, and the drunken hilarity that inevitably followed us everywhere...

knocks on the basement window late at night, and the subsequent viewing of classics like "the refridgerator" (i am juan...the plumber)...

lunch at that small vegetarian restaurant on the far side of the quad in the basement behind the old church...

espresso royale...scones, studying, and getting caught there...

having an unhealthily low body-fat percentage...

the definitive goggle line in the freckles by february...

the horse bench and confessing love from it...

intense competition over mariokart...

the sight of the gym from the top of the stairs...

the stars as viewed from the fields late at night in champaign...

poop in a bag...appropriately sealed, labeled, dated and boxed...

schlotsky's...

faith in american ideals and the system resting on their foundation...

faith in myself...

an ability to hold off a reaction until the initial emotional response fades...

the chronicles of narnia in front of the christmas fire...

"yes let's laugh" and "the both of you"...

believing i was generally an upbeat, happy person...

public transportation...loud, late and smelling like urine...

street musicians...

the view of the skyline illuminating the night sky from the benches at navy pier on cold winter nights...

the arch peaking up over the trees...and knowing that a reunion was only an hour away...

the guy that always showed up to play piano at the union while she studied and i watched her...

can't we laugh and joke around...remember cuddles in the kitchen?

going to be a very, very long day...

i am sick of looking at the world around me...i truly miss ignorance and self-absorbtion...so, beginning last night, the next few days were going to be selfishly all about me...but it never works out that way...apparently the white house has been cutting more and more slack to mining companies over the last few years...they claim safety is improving because of it, with fatalities in mining generally down. still, not sure how comfortable i am with cutting 100 million dollar companies a break on fines that amount to tiny fractions of their profits anyways (the average "big" fine stands at a whopping $20,000)...the administration is talking about cooperation between the industry and the government rather than just oversight. didn't we try that in the gilded age? i seem to remember all kinds of nasty things coming out of that...but then maybe what we need is another populist cleansing of sorts...and maybe this is the only way to get there...

people in chicago went ballistic because a judge threatened contempt sanctions and a dismissal of charges against the accussed if the alleged victim of a rape did not view part of the tape made the night in question. immediately the press and everyone around town condemned the judge as a fascist, the defendant as guilty, and his attorneys as devils. but here's the problem...one of the other alleged offenders was already acquited...the girl got drunk and passed out and doesn't remember a damn thing...the tape allegedly shows that her version of some events is incorrect...and we have this whole innocent until proven guilty thing, coupled with all sorts of nice safeguards in place so that criminal defendants get a fair shake...(insert your "what about the victim's rights" questions here...and the answer is - perhaps unfortunately, but our constitution doesnt guarantee victims shit...if you bring charges, you are going to be put through the ringer...that's what happens, good or bad, it's part of the deal).

again, everyone hates criminal defense attorneys and judges that uphold the constitution and innocence until guilt is proven beyond a reasonable doubt...that is until it is their family member on trial, or themselves wrongfully accussed.

i got some new shoes yesterday because i was feeling like shit and decided i needed to spend money...since i already splurged on music, i had ordered shoes. of course, as always...they were a half size too big (damn my feet disproportionately wide for their length)...but i am too fuckin lazy to send them back, and they were practically free anyways...so if anybody wants some shoes (preferably someone that will not be around me much...because if you are wearing my shoes we will have some problems...it's a fabulous thing, you might not understand)...let me know...

they are redoing the roof (pronounced like the sound a dog makes) today...and i am on the top floor...shit flying past the window...banging on my ceiling...not going to get shit done...exactly when i need to get lots of shit done.

when i left the office yesterday it smelled like rain as a few drops hit my glasses...pathetically it almost caused a breakdown...i really need an escape from this town...

we have no better light to see through...

"working class senators" and homelessness...

well...a committee looking at lobbying reform in the senate balked at doing anything worthwhile to fix the problem that has become the city of washington d.c. despite efforts (by both republican and democratic senators...don't even try to blame this on one party...both are in the pockets of lobbyists in a big, big way...look what happened to clinton's talk after he showed up in washington...look at the face of lobbyist corruption and his very much republican background...look at all the money the parties get from special interests) the committee basically offered to throw a very small bone to the american public while retaining all the meat for senators and their lobbyist friends.

the biggest suggestion...put the ban on lobbying to a full 2 years after getting out of the senate. gee, thanks buddy...that will solve it all. if they have to go get a normal speaking job for an extra 12 months obviously there will no longer be influence peddling on the hill. i mean, why didn't we think of this sooner? how about just banning ex-senators from ever lobbying in washington...if you want to do that shit, do it on your own turf.

and as for senators not taking free rides on corporate jets all the time? according to trent lott "somebody's got to look at this in a way that deals with reality and makes sense. do we want to artificially make people pay more, which would force working class senators not to be able to travel, and the rich guy to travel at will?" yea trent...."artificially" more...if artificially means paying your own goddamn way given the salary increases you and your buddies routinely vote yourselves. "artificially make people pay more" meaning "stop giving people free rides that leave them indebted to corporations when they are supposed to be representing the people of their state." how's this for an idea, if trent is so worries about working-class senators not being able to pay their way...since we bailed out the airline industry why don't they give free airfare to senators? hell, it's the least they could do after they handouts they were given in the last few years...i mean, our tax dollars went to them already, and somehow i doubt that senators flying around on their regional jets would push them over the edge and dry up the billions they were handed.

kevin phillips had much better ideas on how to deal with lobbyists and the death grip they have on washington as they drag it and the country into the depths of disrepair...unfortunately, no one is listening to him...and it's getting too late...

this morning there is a homeless man outside my window. his shopping cart is full and resting next to him as he sits on a parking barrier listening to the radio. he's got a dog with him...and he carries around a cushion to lay on the ground for the dog to lay on. a man and his dog, just sitting in the albuquerque sun watching car after car go by...what brought him here? what did he do with his life before he was forced to spend his days just waiting for tomorrow with his furry friend? does he have any family? does he have any hope? isn't there anything society can do for him and his dog? why don't i do something? do people offer his dog food but not him? has anyone ever tried to steal the dog? does the dog ever disappear for awhile, or is it always by his side?

not feeling good about my country today...

the homeless were a nuisance to the five o'clock commuters so they were erased from the streets...