political corruption and chronyism....

so good ol' tom delay was indicted today. one would think i would be shocked and appalled at his apparently unethical practices. (especially since i will go to my grave believing bill clinton should have gone to prison for violating one of the most important and sacred laws in this country...and if you don't believe it do some research before you try and tell me he "only lied about sex"...figure out the meaning of perjury and it will be clear he committed it...why laws against perjury are vital to our judicial system...and why it is especially troublesome when officers taking oaths to uphold the constitution and laws of the united states, namely the most important officer taking that oath, decide to just toss aside one of the most important ones) (and furthermore...dont give me the "bush lied to take us to war" line...obviously if someone else commits a wrong, especially one perhaps more grievous...then my committing a serious wrong is totally ok...atleast be consistent).

well...i am not shocked...nor am i appalled. see...i managed to grow up in the chicago area believing that that is how politics is done. chicago managed to have the last great political machine...still does, although it is crumbling now that the feds have actually gotten close and are indicting and investigating anyone and everyone involved in illinois politics. hell, a few of the suburbs were still run by the mob in the 90's (i think cicero still is). so handing out no-work jobs to your friends doesnt upset me...it seems normal. and grabbing money unethically and possibly illegally from any and every source...seems like a good way to win votes (even those of the dead folks).

guess i just have a warped view of how elections work.and yes, he should be punished...although i havent read the law and my initial thought is it can't possibly be constitutional. but i find it amusing how things have flopped and with whitewater (or whatever it was called) and perjury in the white house group A was crying "there are more important things to worry about! this is a partisan witchhunt!" and group B was crying "laws were broken by powerful people! the people have the right to know! nobody is above the law!" and now it is group B crying the old group A song and vice versa. ah politics. maybe the chicago way is better.

if you'd only move away because i'm scared that if you stay....

things i am not: a list

in the process of self discovery i have come to the realization that i am not a lot of things...some of which i would prefer to be at times...

the other day it came to my attention that i am not generic. this sounds strange, but i honestly thought i was. someone very close to me informed me that i was mistaken. perhaps the midwest has been taken from me...perhaps it never really was there...either way, it would be nice to be cookie cutter.

along those lines...apparently i am also very strange. i was unaware it was so shocking and abnormal for a man to wear skirts from time to time (nobody gives sting shit for it...and have you ever tried one on? they are way more comfortable than pants). it seems i left an impression on classmates that goes something along the lines of "that kid is wierd"...that shit gets old. although i am well aware that it is pathetic...sometimes i just want to be like everyone else...or atleast close enough to not be noticed.

i am not the type of person that wants recognition...i used to, it actually was important to me at one point...now i just want to quietly do my thing in peace.

i am not a good son. i just never really connected with my parents on any serious level. now they are getting close to being gone, and i still cannot bring myself to do the things a son should do. it is embarassing really...but no matter how much i tell myself it is time to change, i never do.

i am not a happy person. i got to thinking about this tonight and realized that i really have never been just plain happy. well, i can think of specific instances...that tuesday midday run down two bucks in waist deep fluff...those first few months of falling in love...those last few months of being in love...all the months in the middle of being in love...although every two years those months seem to turn unhappy most of the time (if you do the math you can figure out why)...i would go into all the specific instances dealing with that special someone that made me just plain happy, but that would end up making me just plain sad. not that i am an unhappy person, i just tend not to be a happy person.

i am not as good at this as some may think.

i am not a desert rat. i no longer enjoy the southwest. i want to leave. i just wish i could bring myself to do it.

i am not going to run for office. i will not be able to do it...i won't have the patience, i won't have the know-how. although god knows i would love to unseat heather wilson...

i am not the man i thought i was...nor am i the man you may have thought i was.

unfortunately...one thing that i do seem to be as of late...lonely. surrounded by people...formerly known as good friends, girlfriends, drinking buddies, and any other imaginable label...and yet i feel pretty much alone.

i am not a happy person.

it's hard to explain.

education: one city figured it out

raleigh got worried that its efforts to racially integrate it schools wouldn't cut it if someone complained to the federal courts. so they looked at the research and came up with a solution...instead of sending kids to schools based on race, integrate them based on class. they are trying to get every school in the county at no higher than 40% low-income students. so far they are doing a pretty damn good job of it too.

and, imagine this...everyone's test scores are going up. (although i cannot stand standardized testing and i think it is crap and horrible method of testing learning and such...if you are stuck with it, use it to your advantage...and in this case i do think it is indicative of what is going right in raleigh). blacks and hispanics have seen the test scores of their children close the gap significantly during the economic integration. and, low and behold, the wealthy white folks are beginning to learn that their children are enriched by attending schools diverse in race and class.

it seems as though it should be obvious...especially to anyone who has ever attended a school at any level that is diverse...that integration provides for an educational experience far more fulfilling as well as beneficial. still, i dont have much hope that raleigh's blueprint will be followed across the country. having grown up in middle-class suburbs of chicago i am well aware that when people move outside the city to go to better schools...they really dont want to share any money with the schools and children in most dire need. it is a shame really. maybe if there were some way we could integrate cities, and do it without kicking the poor out...who knows. i just wish it could be done.

sail away with me.

was watching pbs tonight...specials on bobby kennedy and martin luther king.

why is it that when this country produces someone to speak for the downtrodden and forgotten of it's citizens someone makes sure to put a bullet in their head? suppose it is part of the american legacy...shots to the head.

i wonder if we would have made more progress in this country if we could have managed not to kill a few people...lincoln, rfk, mlk, rfk...would we get along better? had reconstruction gone differently would it we still have so far to go? if either of the kennedy boys bent to tie a shoe would we still be in this predicament? how invaluable would a peaceful leader like mlk be during these times? could his message have reached the american people? would it have made a difference in the inner city?

if leaders need to be shot...why is it never the other side? why isn't it status quo leaders that get done in? it seems like a cruel, cruel joke of history that these four men died and reagan survived.

makes me want to run for office though...somebody has got to make it one of these days...god knows we could use one now.

if i had thirteen wonderful songs.

another day, another dollar, still no rain...

i am sitting in my office wasting time this morning (that's right, i have an office of my own...wierd). get sworn in monday, so i get to be official. please stop with the congradulations though...it makes me feel strange. it's odd, i used to think i was one of those people that liked attention (although not lately...so maybe that went out the window this year too)...but i never liked to point out things that would get me attention...i guess because i really didn't like it...or i knew, and that was enough for me. come to think of it, i always enjoyed being anonymous to all but a few select people.

speaking of a few select people, my circle has shrunk...a lot. i would put it at three now...which i guess makes it a triangle and not a circle...but i did the worst on geometry on the ACT (i hadn't had it in a year or so). but to those three...thanks.

i want to write a book...only it would end up being discombobulated (again, i can't spell...thats why a good assistant is worth their weight in gold) ramblings and rants and musings. i wouldn't even like it. maybe i am just wishing my creative side had developed more, or atleast what most people consider "creative." i think we use too narrow a definition of that word.
there has been a lot of drama going around as of late. kind of put the brakes on me pulling myself out of my own drama. there is something about being surrounded by craziness and sadness that sucks you into it. that is one thing i wish i could get back from the pre-elvis year...being able to avoid the draw that is someone else's problems.

yesterday it was cloudy all day. it never rained. i sat here and looked out at the street below and wanted so badly to go dance in the rain...maybe it was one of those "let everything bad be washed away" moments. only it never came. and now it is sunny yet again. i suppose i will miss the sun when i leave here (which cannot be soon enough)...but right now i want rain, and lots of it. i want streets turning into shallow rivers, i want mud puddles to slide around in, i want to look at her with her hair dripping and clinging to her face and see the twinkle and the smile that lets me know that it is ok, that the rain is washing away all the horrible things, all the loneliness, all the hurt...and i will get the chance to start over again.

am i right to think that there could be nothing better....?

god is gay

with the crackdown on rampant homosexuality in the catholic church (that was sarcasm) i began to wonder something...

supposedly you are called by god to the priesthood, right? and they are concerned that the priesthood is becoming a "gay" profession (whatever that means...i guess its a logical procession, drag queen to interior decorator and fashionista to professionals to priests)...but wouldn't that mean that god is seeking out gays to be priests? then i started wondering if this whole time it's really the gay community that is in god's favor...which would explain the oppression since it's always those people that have an in with god that get shit on the most (or so they say).

just a thought.

make a list of everything you need, leave it empty, except for number one...

patriotism and god, the poor, and my night

i am sure many of you have heard, but the athiest dad was back in court after the supremes booted him out because didnt have standing last time around. i am torn with this guy...while i feel like he may be doing good work, i question his motives...and i question how much of his daughter's "beliefs" are really just his fanatical shit...still, he is doing some good, so no matter what the motive behind it, i'll support him.

anyways, he won again in district court, the school can't make the pledge a mandatory thing since it has "under god" in it. last time around i though this was ridiculous and wondered who really gave a fuck. i have since changed my mind. if for no other reason, this should be done away with for the sake of the children. kids are cruel and horribly mean...and the outcasts that are often just trying to fit in dont need more shit to deal with. just saying they dont have to say it, or they can remain seated (or whatever the hell other really bad ideas you can come up with) wont cut it. these kids are ridiculed and harrassed because they arent saying the pledge. stuff like that can have very detrimental effects on a young child...so for that alone (never mind the serious, serious constitutional concerns with state schools requiring the pledge be recited...its pretty orwellian) we should do away with atleast that little bit of the pledge. do it for the kids.

is anybody else curious about the reaction to hurrican katrina in that it seems like there are people all over that are just figuring out that poor people exist in this country...and that urban areas like New Orleans have a high concentration of poor black folks? kind of heartbreakig that it took such a horrible event followed by a pathetic response at the local and federal level for the country to wake up to the problem of poverty in this country.

gw had some decent thoughts on dealing with the displaced poor in new orleans and avoiding a return to the old paradigm of very poor neighborhoods separated from the rest of the city. in theory they sound great...in practice, we will see. for one thing, i guarantee that we cannot help the poor folks without raising taxes...and for a president already in his second term, i cant see why that is such a problem...especially since we all know his vp wont be running. second off, the key is education, always was, always will be. of course we fund education in piss poor ways, and make it insanely difficult for parents to be involved if they arent affluent. third...what about all the concentrated poverty outside of the gulf coast? do they not get helped until a natural disaster wipes out their towns either? just curious.

i had a good night...went to the park and dumped a lot of random stuff in my head...here are some things i was reminiscing about...accepting things...or failing to, where to put cats, counseling, the moon's slow ascent over the canopy, how beautiful a woman can be when she appears before you pure and real and honest, breezes that bring tears to your eyes, things lost, new starts, apologies for wrongs i've done, that almost perfect night by the ocean alone for hours, dancing with old ladies and listening to old war stories at the old folks dance, hippy shit invading my pysche, starting over (completely), wanting to help some people realize how great they are and how much they have to offer, my wants and needs, and some things that may qualify as obscenity in a god-fearing state.

my bed feels larger than when i was small.

$150 million doesn't do much good in the big house

white collar crime is no longer about getting really, really rich...possibly getting busted and then having tea with politicians and other former ceo's in a minimum security prison for a month or two. (unless of course you are martha stewart, then it rescues your company from bankruptcy and gets you a primetime show - but that was lying to federal investigators...and hell, we've told the country that was fine by letting presidents do it time and time again).

the tyco execs got sentenced in new york...8 to 25 years. most likely means they will be out in 8...but that can be an eternity in prison. these schmucks got busted in state court too, which means no club fed...hard core, pound me in the ass prison is where they are headed. thrown in with rapists and murderers at rikers or attica.the feds handed down some hefty sentences over the last year too (worldcom exec got 25 years and adelphia exec got 15 years...although that will probably be at club fed, still aint the penthouse these assholes got used to while they robbed folks blind). setting up for the trial of kenneth lay and his buddies at enron next year (including, i believe, the brother of wgn chicago's weatherman, tom skilling, who gets paid a million a year to be a meteoroligist...it isnt too late to change your career path folks).

yes, the folks at enron will see trial. they will see prison time if convicted. don't think the government is trying to push it under the rug...big time crime takes big time resources and a lot of time to prosecute. perhaps we are getting closer to the days when tron can turn himself in late because he got caught up with some trim and these thieves get burned by overzealous cops. don't get me wrong, we still have two completely different criminal justice systems; one for those with money, one for those without...but its good to see things balancing a little.

speaking of poor folks in the criminal justice system...and this is really for another time...but we go about it all wrong. not that it will ever get fixed...people dont even want to send money to poor schools, let alone the criminals that come out of those neighborhoods. i can only hope someday we figure out that some things we are doing just aren't working...and we are losing a lot of bright young minds because of our hardheadedness.

Feels like lightning running through my veins.

don't use condoms because they don't work

that is what the government is telling you...well, indirectly anyways. they are giving lots and lots of money to groups preaching abstinence...but only if they refuse to tell kids about the benefits of condom use, only how they aren't going to protect them. wow.

tonight on 60 minutes (i think its an old story) they had the leader of one of these abstinence pledge groups...he claimed that if his daughter came to him and told him she was going to have sex...he would not tell her to use a condom because it wouldn't protect her in the long time. shit. scary, scary shit. makes me actually miss the days of my sex education classes where this kid jason asked the teacher "what happens if you're having sex and you have to go to the bathroom?" to which Mr. Peterson responded "Well, hopefully you've taken care of that ahead of time." but i digress...

i wonder what planet these people are on thinking that kids that "pledge" abstinence aren't having sex. reminds me of the no drug pledge groups in high school...the kids that signed up were always the biggest stoners and junkies. and now we are doing it with sex...and these kids run out and fuck like rabbits, without condoms (because they obviously don't work).

apparently its all or nothing...either you protect yourself 100% by not fucking...or you get no protection at all. ah yes...and oddly enough these are likely to be the same people up in arms about young welfare moms.

I know you'd disagree with me.

crooked illinois politicians, confirmation hearings gone bad, minivans and feline dreams

i don't think it is possible for a major politician in illinois not to get covered in sludge from some nasty scandal...crooked politics is a way of life where i come from. apparently the newest governor's (who's name i will not even try to spell here) administration had someone high up that had a role in a little extortion number involving firms trying to land teacher pensions. of course this means he will win in a landslide next time around...probably run for president.

speaking of running for president...how bout that grandstanding done by those crazy cooks in the judicial committee on capital hill. i am frightened enough that joe schmo on the street has so little knowledge of the legal system that he feels it is necessary to know ahead of time how a judge would rule in a case (seeing as how a judge deciding that prior to a case showing up would be violating his oath, not to mention telling people that would be a serious ethical violation)...however, now we have senators on the judiciary committee that apparently dont have a clue either. they went on and on about how roberts should answer their questions and give them an idea on how he would decide this case or that case and got all pissed off he would not answer them. anyone who votes against this guy, who by most accounts is one of the most qualified candidates ever for the job, should be ashamed of themselves...especially if they voted for the previous justices that used the same damn answers.

on that note...i noticed the guy climbed into a minivan on the way to the hearings one day with his family. anyone that is one of the best appellate lawyers in the country and a federal appellate judge that still drives a minivan is alright in my book.

hermione was laying on her back dreaming tonight...her limbs were twitching like crazy. it was amusing, and it got me to thinking...i wonder what she dreams about. is she chasing birds? is she back in the front yard running on her hind legs, front legs spraying the air after a butterfly? does she relive that afternoon? is she remembering the times she saw the light? do cats see the light? that lady on montel seems to think so...i like to think so. hermione deserves it...i'm glad she had atleast one life left.

love me like sunday again.

gays: are they the end of civilization?

it was a big day for gays in the news...some of it good, some of it bad. makes me wonder who is right here...are they really the end of civilization as we know it?

the catholic church is on the move to rid american seminaries of anyone who has engaged in homosexual activity or has strong homosexual inclinations. not sure what qualifies as "homosexual activity" or "strong homosexual inclinations," but my feeling is that a hell of a lot of good folks need not apply for the priesthood in this country anymore.

this is in response to the sex abuse that apparently was running rampant through the priesthood in this country over the last few decades. they are trying to "better screen" folks seeking admission and ensure they are ready for a life of celebacy and chastity and all that jazz. i guess if you have ever been with someone with the same plumbing as you it means you can't possibly never do it again (not that anyone could...or should for that matter). apparently the catholic church is convinced that if you are gay, you're gonna be tempted to touch alter boys (although you could probably touch alter girls too, if the church would allow women to play any role at all...but we wouldnt want to break with 1000s of years of sexist tradition). i've had limited experience with sexual assault/abuse on children...and it's pretty much been heterosexual (if you can call it that). and the vast majority of child sex abuse is...so, shouldn't they be screening for straight folks?

on that note...shouldn't they reconsider the whole celibacy thing? humans are sexual creatures...pardon my french, but they need to fuck. without it, they go crazy and do really, really wierd shit. just a thought for the new pope to consider.

on the other hand, the massachusetts legislature bonged an amendment to their state constitution that would ban gay marriage and create civil unions that came up after the mass. supreme court said they had to let the gays declare their love before god and all mankind. even a bunch that voted for it originally changed their minds. as one legislator put it "gay marriage has begun and life has not changed for the citizens of the commonwealth, with the exception of those who can now marry who could not before." that is a bit of an understatement, but it gets the point across. the gays got hitched...thousands of them...and the mighty hand of god did not smite massachusetts...so maybe he doesn't really give a shit if your partner also is an adam or also is an eve, or even is an adam but lives as an eve or vice versa. somehow i think god has bigger shit on his plate than to worry about that stuff.

perhaps god will prove me wrong in the future, but for right now i think massachusetts got it right and the pope and his flunkies are way off...the gays are the end of all that is right and good...they may even be the start.

well, the bar results are in. i passed...not that i was worried about it much...and not that a lot of people that probably shouldn't be attorneys didn't...but it still is a load of the shoulders. i thought i would be bouncing off the walls, thought i would be out living it up tonight just like the old days...nope.

a year in a shit job in a place i didn't want to be in anymore and only being able to see her on weekends, followed by three years of avoiding school, the last of which spent mostly drunk and very lonely, a summer of the same, and a month of serious studying and it is all over. i have the job i wanted, i passed the bar, things are coming together for me...and i am realizing it really isn't that important.

i was much happier when i was broke, years away from doing what i wanted to do, feeling completely useless...but atleast i had someone to share it all with. guess tonight it really sank in just how big of a difference that can make. no matter how good things seem, at the end of the day, if you don't have someone to share them with...you really don't feel fulfilled...it just doesn't cut it. but if you have someone, the worst days can be better than the best without.

i want to leave this town...but i know what the result would be...and it wouldn't be worth it. i want to go somewhere else...but suddenly doing it alone doesn't seem like an option. afterall, staying here under the right circumstances would be better than any time somewhere else under the wrong circumstances.

its taken me a long time.

new and improved poll taxes

decades after the supreme court finally got rid of poll taxes, both sides of the aisle are looking for new and improved ways to reinstitute them in the hopes that this time they can get around that annoying little document we call the Constitution and ensure they hold on to whatever they have wherever they are.

this is the brilliant plan they have come up with...an attempt everywhere to quash "voter fraud" by requiring photo id at the polls. (on a side note, i'm from chicago, so i am not sure what the big deal with voter fraud is...isn't that how the process is supposed to work?...hell, we hold elections in february in a northern, windy city to ensure that a lot of people dont go). see, it is difficult to argue with requiring someone voting to prove that they are who they say they are...but then you think about the consequences.

see, its a certain segment of the population (oddly enough, the same segment that got hit with poll taxes) that will be adversely affected. in georgia (where it is the folks riding elephants behind it) the law will require photo id provided by the state. this, of course, costs money to get...and suprisingly enough, the centers to obtain one are few and far between. so there you go...an easy, hopefully constitutional way to ensure that the poor, the rural and inner city folks don't get out and vote. brilliant.

and donkey supporters, don't feel left out...your side of the aisle has it going here in new mexico. while not quite as extensive (you only need photo id to register...then you can show up with proof of address and such, without which you can vote via "provisional" ballot...by "provisional" we mean "scrap paper.") interestingly enough this state has a rather large indian population residing on reservations and pueblos, a large population of poor, you know, the fun stuff...the folks we want to keep out of the polling booths...or atleast keep the votes out of the non-provisional ballot boxes.

makes me feel like the good old days back home (tear).

i always find it amazing how difficult politicians make it to vote...but then if it were easier and more people did vote, most of those schmucks up there in santa fe and washington now would be out of work...so i guess it is understandable.

out of curiousity though...why are people supporting these measures? reminds me of that classic bumper sticker..."it's alright, i wasn't using my civil liberties anyway."

still relevant today

so i am reading a collection of mike royko columns and came across some from the '60s that are eerily relevant today...and as a side note, reading royko makes me remember just how much of a gem chicago really is...although i am still not sure i could live there again...but i am starting to miss it.

he wrote about LBJ declaring he would not run again in 1968 and the state of the country...and it sounds a lot like today...

"The president of the United States told the poeple of the United States they are so divided against themselves he dares not take part in a political campaign for fear that it could get even worse...

Unrestrained hatred has become the dominant emotion in this splintered country. Races hate, age groups hate, political extremes hate...

The young, that very special group, was offended by him in so many, many ways...

For one thing, he was old. They might have forgiven him that if he had at least acted young. But he acted like a harassed, temendouslybusy, impatient man with an enormous responbility...

He offended them by failing to pander to them, by not fawning over them and telling them that they were the wise ones, that they had the answers, that they could guide us...

Maybe he wasn't the best president we might have had. But we sure as hell aren't the best people a president has ever had."

of course some folks will think this means I love johnson and gw...and they will miss the point....they will also most likely be like me...young and full of piss and vinegar and convinced they have all the answers when really they don't know shit about shit. tv ruined the presidency...unqualified bozos who appear young, hip and trendy can squeeze into office. not that many young, hip and trendy folks get in...but too often the guy that should make it...the older, wiser, dignified person with real ideas and understanding is pushed aside because he is "out of touch." sad really.

about a week later royko wrote about the assasination of MLK...

"...behind them were the subtle ones, those who never say anything bad but just nod when the bigot throws out his strong opinions. He is actually the worst, the nodder is, because sometimes he believes differently but he says nothing. He doesn't want to cause trouble...so when his brother-in-law or his card-playing buddy from across the alley spews out the racial filth, he nods."

wish i could say i never do this...but i'm guilty of it...we all are.

"So we killed him. Just as we killed Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy. No other country kills so many of its best people.

A week ago Sunday night the president said he was quitting after this term. He said this country is so filled with hate it might help if he got out. Four days later we killed a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

We have pointed a gun at our own head and we are squeezing the trigger. And nobody we elect is going to help us. It is our head and our finger."

(sigh)

jesse jackson and refugees, the president and pictures of dead and actual gay marriages...

jesse jackson has resurfaced...that good old preacher who gave our last president advice and guidance when he got caught cheating on his wife...and lest we forget the entire time he was managing to father children without the benefit of marriage (not that i give a shit if you are married when you have kids...but it seems a bit odd to counsel one on relationships under the circumstances). he is upset over the use of the term "refugee" to describe those people seeking refuge after katrina (hmm)...jackson claims it is rascist to refer to americans as refugees...although i must admit i have never been aware of anyone seeing that term as racially loaded...seeing as how we refer to folks, rightfully so, as refugees from all corners of the world, including europe. apparently he feels the term implies that the persons seeking refuge from the natural disaster are foreigners. never mind that during prior natural disasters such as the drought of the 30's american folks leaving middle america (plenty of them caucazoid...i love that word) were refered to as refugees...rightfully so if you look it up in websters. mostly i find it interesting that a man who has built much of his career pointing out that americans are not better than the rest of the world and are just like any other people has suddenly taken a stance that is so blatantly "we are better than those damn foreigners."

apparently GW doesn't want pictures taken of all the bodies that will inevitably be uncovered in the gulf coast. kind of goes along with the whole lack of photos of coffins of service men and women thing...just keep the pictures out of sight and folks will forget about it...forget that the man in charge of FEMA couldnt hold down his job heading an arabian horse outfit, was grossly underqualified, and managed to play a roll in a number of those bodies...forget that it took 3 days for the leader of the country to take a look at the area, from the air, and still hasnt been anywhere near the worst of it...forget that the feds turned help away...forget that the administration was apparently unaware that folks were even at the convention center days after tv screens nationwide had been plastered with pictures of it...forget the overall inept nature of your response... perhaps he wouldnt be so quick to shut down the pictures of the dead if it made people remember that the local officials had a hand in it too.

on a side note...can somebody shoot geraldo please.

the california legislature apparently has passed a bill that would define marriage as between two people...thus opening the floodgates to hell as all the gays come out of the woodwork to get married, inevitably destroying the sanctity of marriage and corrupting all our youth, turning them into (gasp) homosexuals. but seriously...wonder how far this will go...if it will get past the governor...how many crazy groups will try and get an amendment into the california constitution the next election to "fix" the mistake. it will be interesting...especially since the gay couples seeking marriage tend to be a hell of a lot more stable than most hetero couples that are married. and since god apparently had no problem with incest (ever notice how the bible started out with only one family) i find it hard to believe he has a problem with gay sex....but thats just me.

dead justices, new jobs, puppies and fat

chief justice william rehnquist died over the holiday weekend. although i am convinced he was weekend at bernies for the last year or two. whether or not you agree with the man's politics you have to give him credit for giving almost half of his life to serve the country on its highest court. not to mention, like another evil genius on the court (cough, cough...scalia...ahem), he could actually write well (a quality that seems to elude supreme court justices at really inopportune times, like when they are handing the country and its welfare to the gay agenda...speaking of which, as long as scalia doesnt go into his highly amusing "my fellow justices are complete and utter morons and should be beaten for their stupidity" rants he really does write fantastic opinions, they can make you agree with some crazy shit).

anyways, there will be groups up in arms over roberts appointment to chief justice and trying to block it with everything they have. wonder what they will argue though...seeing as how, at the very "worst" he is a younger version of the man that just spent two decades in that post. will be exciting television...lots of not answering questions that shouldn't have been asked in the first place...thrilling shit.

i got a new job...interesting stuff, murder, rape, pillaging...i feel like i should sport an eye patch. seriously though, its good shit. interesting thing i learned on the first day...the government won't pay shit to defend someone who is up for the death penalty. the state will spend hundreds of thousands trying to put someone to death...will give the defense attorney about 10-20% of the same amount and expect him/her to cover all their overhead with it. apparently when the most important right that a person has in on the line we can't afford to give them the representation they are guaranteed by the constitution. however, the state will pay civil tort lawyers defending state officials in lawsuits for money 10 times what they will a criminal defense attorney defending a man's life. seems like backassward priorities to me.

there is a new puppy in the house...she is confused. one of the cats finds her a great new playmate...the other wants to claw his face off whenever she comes within a few feet. poor thing cant figure out why the bitchy cat wont play nice.

my diet is failing miserably...i need motivation to get back in shape again. which means ed needs to get back in town with his fat fuck self. that nasty beer gut always gave me motivation before...nobody wants to get to that point.

apologies to walmart and national embarassment

i've been talking shit about walmart for not sending aid for a few days now...seeing as how they were all over it in florida the last few years. turned out i need to eat those words...they sent thousands of gallons of bottled water in a caravan of trucks...only FEMA turned them away, told them they weren't needed.

seems this was a recurring theme in the government's response to a situation that apparently nobody high up in goverment saw coming (although it seems pretty fucking obvious that any moron could predict a city built below sea level would become a festering cesspool of a lake if a big storm hit...but hey, thats just me). heard that the administration turned down international aid...the navy had a ship just off shore right after the storm...rode the storm out and then followed it towards shore awaiting orders and an opportunity to help. they had a few thousand beds and top-notch medical care to offer...along with water and food. some of their helicopters got to snatch people of rooftops...but other than that they are still floating in the waters off the coast, just now ordered to help out near biloxi. FEMA has also turned down countless offers of aid from cities across the country...chicago was mobilizing before the storm and made washington aware it was willing and able to send hundreds of medical, law enforcement and service personel along with equipment down to the gulf coast...to this date FEMA only requested one team of rescuers. you just kind of have to blink in amazement at shit like this.

evacuation orders were given...no transportation out of the city was given to those in the most dire need (interestingly enough they happened to be the black/poor neighborhoods that got left behind...hmmm). once they finally started...the evacuation out of the superdome took about two days...why were those people sitting there for 4 days beforehand? i understand it is not human nature to be prepared for the absolute worst...but it doesn't make it any easier to listen and watch.

Clarence Page put it simply today..."Hurricane Katrina was the first big test of President Bush's proud invention, the Department of Homeland Security, and it flunked."

still...i like to remember that every time this country has faced such horrific events it has eventually responded by bettering itself. i hope that this will raise questions in the masses that need to be addressed...questions of race, class, preparedness, security, spending, education...this country can do better...it has to.

educating the unteachable

60 minutes had a story on tonight about an innercity kid from london that got a chance to go to a boarding school after getting kicked out of his school. once put in that environment, he flourished...near the top of his class, star athlete. made me wonder just how many kids fall through the cracks and are lost because we give up on them and label them unteachable...most of these kids happen to be poor...many are minorities. all they really need is a system that places expectations on them for greatness...not for failure. suddenly, when great things were expected of this troubled kid, he responded with flying colors.

there were a few set backs...unfortunately the second time he ran into a new headmaster who was not forgiving (an asshole basically) and sent him away within a year of graduating. worst thing in the world for everyone involved. so i guess the story did not quite end happily as one would expect.

i grew up in the suburbs of chicago in some highly touted school districts. many of the kids i went to school with went on to college while their innercity counterparts got minimum wage jobs. mostly because of the grossly unproportionate spending between suburban and city schools and even schools within cities (just look at albuquerque...within aps the disparagies are frightening). of course no one has been able to (and likely never will) convince the taxpayers in the richer surrounding areas that everyone would be better served if they just shared...like when they were kids. how many great leaders of tomorrow have we left at mcdonalds because we couldnt spread the wealth around the school system better?

katrina, employment, joey greco, and other randomness

katrina turned out to be quite a bitch...ruined GW's vacation. atleast he came back when important/tragic stuff happened though (i mean, other than the multiple wars going on and all). heard a rumor he turned down international aid too...wow. we finally get some folks on our side and the response is "no thanks...if you wont help us in war we wont take your help at home." not sure i understand the logic of that. i'm pretty speechless about this...it is horrifying to think of what is happening to those people...in this country. all i can really say is i wonder if serious aid would've taken a week if all the suffering faces on tv werent black. i wonder if greyhound and every other bus transport company wouldve sent fleets down if it was the suburban folks that hadnt made it out in time. end of days.

speaking of katrina...that was the name of a girl i ran into at a supergrass show in chicago a few summers ago. she was from albuquerque, and because our licenses matched we got in (damn clouds on the nm license makes it look obviously fake). she was tall...slim...very pretty. i wonder whatever happened to her. if you are out there...i should've walked you home. hell, for selfish reasons i wish i had now.

i got a job...and an office to boot. wierd. never thought this day would come. suppose i actually have to start living up to my potential now. damn.

anyone else watch cheaters? joey greco cracks me up. he is tiny and always starting shit. he got stabbed once. in the gut. and yet he keeps on doing this shit. gotta love late night tv. tonight they had cousins cheating with each other. ever notice how the person that gets caught is always the one that gets all pissed off too and acts all indignent. why cant people just say these simple words "i dont want you" or atleast "i want to fuck him/her"...learn those phrases...use them the first time you really think them...it will save everyone a lot of heartache and a lot of time.and if you want some entertainment, make a profile on nocheatersdate.com...some crackheads on there.

heard they are thinking of releasing some of the oil reserves...please god do not let that happen. but of course it will because politicians never think ahead when they need too and never think immediately when they need to. always get everything backwards.

my self-imposed deadline expires this weekend for those of you that are aware of it...and in case you are wondering...i have no news...so i suppose i basically pulled an iraqi constitutional convention and asked for an extra week.