well, the bar results are in. i passed...not that i was worried about it much...and not that a lot of people that probably shouldn't be attorneys didn't...but it still is a load of the shoulders. i thought i would be bouncing off the walls, thought i would be out living it up tonight just like the old days...nope.

a year in a shit job in a place i didn't want to be in anymore and only being able to see her on weekends, followed by three years of avoiding school, the last of which spent mostly drunk and very lonely, a summer of the same, and a month of serious studying and it is all over. i have the job i wanted, i passed the bar, things are coming together for me...and i am realizing it really isn't that important.

i was much happier when i was broke, years away from doing what i wanted to do, feeling completely useless...but atleast i had someone to share it all with. guess tonight it really sank in just how big of a difference that can make. no matter how good things seem, at the end of the day, if you don't have someone to share them with...you really don't feel fulfilled...it just doesn't cut it. but if you have someone, the worst days can be better than the best without.

i want to leave this town...but i know what the result would be...and it wouldn't be worth it. i want to go somewhere else...but suddenly doing it alone doesn't seem like an option. afterall, staying here under the right circumstances would be better than any time somewhere else under the wrong circumstances.

its taken me a long time.