at least Bush has a sense of humor and the end of the Guidelines...

the most amusingly inept monkey of a president, G.W. Bush invoked the G.W. this week...I wonder if he realized how astonishing his words are given recent events. now that the man is finally reading up on American history (although I am not certain that "Presidents Do the Strangest Things" really counts as educating yourself on historical matters...but hey, it isn't a picture book, and Cheney is too busy covering his ass to read Bush his bedtime stories) he seems rather inclined to compare himself, rather laughingly to anyone that actually studied history, to former leaders of this country in the past. the latest coming on president's day when he declared that the American Revolution is similar to our current predicament...specifically referring to G.W. and what he has come to stand for when he said...

"And as we work to advance the cause of freedom around the world, we remember that the father of our country believed that the freedoms we secured in our revolution were not meant for Americans alone."

the irony of that statement is astonishing. rationalizing an imperialistic policy of "democratization" (by our rules of course - because if you vote in the wrong folks then you can enjoy a nice little CIA sponsored coup or complete destruction of your nation by american-made death and destruction (our cars may be second rate now...but nobody builds killing machines like america)) and overt interventionist policies by invoking the man that warned against just that on his way out the door. all the while apparently forgetting that "the freedoms we [and by the way...since when did Bush fight in any war? let alone one for independence] secured in our revolution" are being trampelled by the speaker. but then I guess the right to vote and be represented in government, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, separation of church and state, the right to jury trial, the right to confront the witnesses against you, the right to counsel, the right to be informed of the charges against you, the right of due process, and all those other fun things the American Revolution is supposed to stand for that this administration gleefully shits on, weren't really any of the freedoms "we" secured.

maybe I don't give the guy enough credit (although, in my defense, it is hard to give a drunk with a curious nasal drip much credit)...maybe he really just does know his history that well...and he can say this with a straight face the day before the provision he championed which does away with habeas corpus is upheld...afterall, "we" technically did not secure that with the revolution, it had been around for a few hundred years already.

the Supreme Court will hear arguments on two cases revisiting the Federal Sentencing Guidelines...the Guidelines are one of my pet peeves, and for those of you who don't know, here is a very brief overview...

people were worried that there was too much variance in sentencing between locales in federal courts (i.e. the same crime in miami did not carry the same sentence in salt lake) and so congress came up with this ridiculous idea to develop a French-like civil law scheme of legislating every possible factor that could go into sentencing and making a chart out of it so that the judge would then have a term of usually about 10 months within which to decide. unfortunately for the Guidelines...there was this little thing called the right to trial by jury that got in the way. a few years ago, the Supreme Court grew some balls and told the state of Washington the sentencing scheme it used (very similar to the Guidelines) was blatantly violative of the right to a jury trial. then came the wonderful clusterfuck of Booker, which declared the Guidelines were crap, but then the majority and the dissent totally swapped and a different set of judges agreed they should remain "advisory"...since then, all around the country the courts are deciding what the hell that means and congress hasn't done shit to remedy the situation (go figure)...and so now we get a couple more cases that should finally do away with this bullshit that has given us sentencing for crack disgustingly higher than for cocaine and tied judges hands in not allowing them to do the right thing, but all to often giving them free rein to do the wrong thing.

(if you haven't figured out I am a bit of a sentencing geek...you are now learning)

I'm throwing my money on a ruling that the Guidelines are "just another sentencing factor" and will slowly fade away...partly because it is the right thing to do...partly because, while Roberts will likely protect Booker, I think Alito will use the opportunity to stick it to the recent Cunningham majority that he tried to warn...and since it was only 5-4 on the advisory bit last time (both of these votes coming from the 5), I'm counting on a swap, just not how most will tell you it is going to happen.

that being said...it is the right thing to do. the sentencing statute is, and always has been, totally unambiguous in that judges must sentence a defendant to a sentence "sufficient, but not greater than necessary" to effectuate a few key sentencing factors (which basically comes down to those age-old American beliefs Bush is trying to shit on...like respect for the law, deterrence, justice, rehabilitation...if you really are interested, look it up - 18 U.S.C. 3553(a)(2)). in making the "sufficient, but not greater than necessary" determination, the statute says they must consider a list of factors...including the no-longer mandatory Guidelines. there is just no way you can read that statute with sixth amendment jurisprudence and come to any other conclusion than the Guidelines are anything but a token mention now. which means we might finally begin getting serious about fixing the disgusting state of our criminal justice and penal system which has made us a joke in the "civilized" world.

that's when I reach for my revolver...

teaching them "rag doll" illegals a lesson, the "last throes", and pandering...

so I was watching america's most wanted for the first time in years this weekend (and if you haven't seen it in awhile...walsh has lost his damn mind...it has become a worse version of cops) and was horrified to yet again learn how incredibly screwed up this nation is becoming as we texify ourselves. in between segments of a swat team from the broward county sheriff's office rounding up sex offenders (including those oh so dangerous flashers) who got home a couple minutes late the night before (yup...talk about good use of law enforcement dollars...these guys, who were at home when they were arrested and would have shown up with probation the next day were carted away by about 15 deputies...and how many preventable incidents happened while those 15 were busy?) they told the story of some border partrol folks that got a little trigger happy and found themselves in prison.

the first two gunned down a man trying to cross the river. of course amw tried to play it up by saying he was a drug smuggler...but then one must wonder how the two patrolmen, in the dark, were aware of this when they shot a man for crossing the river.

the second story was about a local sheriff's deputy in some backwater town in texas (yea...I said it) that got a little trigger happy when put in "danger." see, he pulled a minivan over because (and this is important) it didn't come to a complete stop at a stop sign. when he approached the car it was full of eight people...traffic stop, crowded car. when he tapped on the window for the driver the driver decided to take off...in the process, he damn near (gasp) ran over the deputy's toes. now...rather than get into his cruiser and pursue the minivan that he knew to be full of people...he pulled out his firearm and unloaded a clip into the back of a crowded car. (what is it about a badge that gives you the right to kill for evading a traffic stop?)

the horrifying part was how this guy was a local hero...FOR SHOOTING SEVERAL ROUNDS INTO THE BACK OF A CROWDED VAN THAT POSED NO THREAT TO HIM! and someone being interviewed (a law enforcement man might I add) had the galls to actually say this about the woman that was hit in the face with one of the bullets..."if she hadn't 'a been stuffed into the wheel-well like a ragdoll she wouldn't 'a got shot." wow. wow. so now apparently being the passenger in a vehicle that the driver decides to drive away from a traffic stop is punishable by death. good to know.

of course they then did a story about another woman, trying to get into the country illegally that was tricked by the smugglers into becoming a sex-slave. and the folks at amw were getting all teary eyed over her...rightfully so...except that five minutes earlier they were telling me someone else that may or may not have been trying to get into the country without papers deserved to get shot. ah...the beauty of "christian" hypocrisy.

on a happier note...the insurgency is apparently once again in its "last throes"...remember the last time they were "desperate" and used such methods on "their way out" as taking over towns, slaughtering civilians and killing american service folk? at least this time they struck before the administration could get a "mission accomplished" banner up again (remember all the talk for a few days about how great things were because the "surge" had quieted baghdad?). oh well...at least the president is puffing up his chest towards Iran and offering them stern warnings...because they aren't fucking laughing at us now. (what was that I read recently about "strong" nations picking on lesser ones?)

john mccain missed his bid for the presidency years ago...at the time I would have loved to see a mccain/bradley race (imagine how much different the world may be today...ok, it wouldn't really be different because they are all worthless...but at least it would take longer to go to hell in a handbasket). unfortunately, mccain has decided the only way he will win now is to pander to the extreme right fanatics...the same people that are quickly losing their popularity. his latest...coming out and declaring roe should be overturned. (side note - roe was a horribly written decision...not a wrong decision, just horribly written...overturning it is not the solution..."clarifying" it - i.e. rewriting - is). sorry john...but your train already left the station...and your blatant pandering has exposed you for the hack that you are.

set fire to the rooftops...

Chief's ouster gives other 'symbols' fighting chance...

The following is a column by Rick Morrissey, writer for the Chicago Tribune. It is too humorous not to pass on...

t's really too bad that fans of Chief Illiniwek, the University of Illinois' mascot—sorry, symbol—are going to be all dressed up in feathers and face paint with nowhere to go scalping.

After years of battles over the appropriateness of the Chief, the school last week announced his retirement.

Instead of asking why, the Chief reportedly said "How."

But it doesn't mean Fighting Illini backers have to be left out of all the fun. There are other symbols that deserve to be honored, too, symbols that have been neglected far too long, symbols the university might want to consider now that it's about to be Chief-less at athletic events.

Here are some tongue-in-cheek—tongue-in-cheek!!!—mascot nicknames and halftime extravaganzas that just might capture the imagination of the Illinois fan base:

• The Fighting Clubbed Baby Seals.

Watch some alumni take the cute sea mammals "out to the woodshed."

• The Fighting Wheat Thresher Accident Victims.

To music, a one-armed farmer re-creates, through pantomime, the day it all went terribly wrong.

• The Fighting Lost Boys of Sudan.

They've made their way through hunger and deprivation from Africa to the United States; now watch these orphaned refugees take a few soft-shoe steps for an appreciative audience.

• The Fighting Hollywood Agents.

They do lunch at half court, then they argue, very loudly, over who pays for what.

• The Fighting Tim Hardaways.

What happens when a man in drag wanders into an NBA locker room? You won't believe it. Or maybe you will.

• The Fighting Dumb Blonds.

They're supposed to be mud-wrestling, but they can't stop staring at a carton of orange juice that says "Concentrate." A borrowed joke sure to get the crowd going.

• The Fighting Lepers.

You've seen 'em on "Ben-Hur," now watch 'em get shunned in person. Lend 'em an ear—or a nose. They need it!

• The Fighting Obsessive-Compulsives.

No matter what happens after these entertainers stop sweating the details, one thing is sure: The basketball court will be as meticulously clean as an operating room.

• The Fighting Border Patrol Agents.

Sick and tired of illegal aliens taking all those minimum-wage jobs that you really, really wanted? Here's a chance to watch crack government authorities skillfully round up some undocumented workers.

• The Fighting Inquisition.

Catholics "take it to the rack" as they root out heretics from among the ticket-holders. Perfect for the basketball season.

• The Fighting 'Roid Rage Tumblers.

They flip, they fly, they somersault. And then these puffed-up, acne-ridden behemoths commence to beating on each other.

• The Fighting White Supremacists.

The lights dim, and in an eerie procession, these strong-willed, one-issue, hooded strangers come out and do a number from "A Chorus Line."

• The Fighting Irish.

They drink, they fight, they re-enact the Potato Famine. Oh, wait. This might have been done already.

• The Fighting Descendants of Thomas Jefferson.

The reputed relatives of one of the founding fathers of our country and his slave, Sally Hemings, accuse each other of being house slaves. Watch the furniture start flying!

• The Fighting Hemophiliacs.

During a halftime contest they try to beat the clock while running with scissors.

• The Fighting Firewater-Guzzling Injuns.

Oh, wait. This definitely has been done.

you just read that...

"The use of nationalism to create a mass constituency for parties based on the landowning, capitalist and professional classes was the classic strategy of endangered elites throughout Europe before 1914." - Anatol Lieven. [and given how magnificently that turned out...what with an entire generation destroyed and all...perhaps we should rethink the Republican party]

"The United States has inherited the mantle and pattern of 19th Century European imperialism: military garrisons, economic control, support for brutal leaders, exploitation of natural resources. After all, we know where all that wound up." - Morris Berman. [they hate "old europe" for the same reason they hate bill clinton...the past folks were better at being them than they are]

"In abstract we celbrate freedom of opinion as part of our patriotic legacy; it is only when some Americans exercise it that other Americans are shocked. Intolerance of dissent is a well-noted feature of the American national character." - Sen. William Fulbright [see...the conservative movement really is American]

"It might indeed seem natural that the radical Left should be excluded from the "mainstream," except for one thing: the radical Right is not so excluded." - A. Lieven. [the neocons are just as dangerous as the stalinists]

"It is precisely in the declining phase of a civilization that it beats the drum of self-congratulation most fiercely." - Morris Berman [not only are we predictably following the economic and religious trends of failing empires...we have fallen in love with the nationalist bullshit as well...welcome to the end of the American era]

"How can an approach supposedly rooted in democratization succeed if it displays a brazen contempt both for international public opinion in general and for the democratic votes of particular nations?" - A. Lieven. [the old Bush-mantra of spreading democracy by ignoring it...but then when you come into "democratic" office by un-democratic means, guess that is to be expected]

"To suppose that there exists some smoothly functioning automatic mechnism of adjustment which preserves equilibrium if we only trust to methods of laissez-faire is a doctrinaire delusion which disregards the lessons of historical experience without having behind it the support of sound theory." - J.M. Keynes. [but don't let the irrefutable fact that unbridled capitalism has failed countless times to discourage you from falling in love with "globalization"]

"We can have a democratic society or we can have the concentration of great wealth in the hands of the few. We cannot have both." - Louis Brandeis [take a wild guess which society we have developed]

"Is it purely coincidental that most of our imperial ventures or wars of conquest, from Mexico in 1846-48 to Iraq in 2003, involved an "enemy" who was non-white?" - M. Berman [and lest we forget...the wars waged against hundreds of indigenous tribes prior to 1846...the lesson of American history - if you aren't cracker, we expect you to bow down...the lesson of modern-American history - the crackers will never learn that they won't bow down]

"History is of course nothing if not ironic, and sometimes tragically so....The events of 1979, rootes as they were in the coup of 1953, led to 3 further developments that then moved inexorably toward September 11: the Iranian funding of terrorism; the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan and the consequent CIA backing of Islamic militants; and the American choice of Saddam Hussein as our "Golden Boy" during Iraq's war with Iran. The ironies involved in all of this are breathtaking, but, as in the case of the hostage crisis, largely lost on the American Public." - M. Berman [but it is a lot easier to imagine "they" hate "us" for illogical reasons...afterall, we hated them for illogical reasons]

"Power always thinks it has a great soul." - John Adams. [they love to invoke the "founders"...all hail king george]

And now more on the end of the American era...

"The end of the world begins not with the barbarians at the gate, but with the barbarians at the highest levels of state." - Ben Okri [gleefully ordering torture...overseeing the destruction of civilian populations...i'm just saying...]

"The massive destruction of innocents is something that is unlikely to be either forgiven or forgotten." - J. Gordon [just ask the folks in the middle east]

"It takes a particular level of crudity and violence to see to it that a dying civilian population [i.e. Iraq under sanctions] cannot obtain morphine or toilet paper or children's vaccines [all prohibited by OUR sanctions], let alone to add that the resulting deaths were "worth it." If the United States is not intentionally the enemy of Islamic civilization, it is doing a pretty good job of imitating a nation that is." - M. Berman. [no, really..."they" hate "you" for your "freedom"...ignore the man behind the curtain]

"Theatrical military activisim against inconsequential rogue states is a sign of weakness, not of strength. This is classic for a crumbling system. The final glory of militarism." - Emmanuel Todd [Korea, Vietnam, Iran, Iraq...hmmm]

"When a powerful nation can pick fights only with the small and the weak, it is because appearances to the contrary, it is weak itself." - M. Berman [when was the last time our leaders beat the drum to war against a nation that had some real military power? it's like me patting myself on the back for kicking the neighbor's infant son]

"As democracy is perfected, the office of hte president represents, more and more clearly, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." - H.L. Mencken (July 26, 1920) ['nuff said]

And a few lessons from Nazi Germany...

"I have studied with great interest the laws of several American states concerning prevention of reproduction of people whose progeny would, in all probability, be of no value or injurious to the racial stock." - Adolf Hitler. [moral high ground indeed]

"The army will never give up. It did not give up in the last war either. Only the civilians gave up and betrayed the army." Lt. Rudolf Kohlhoff. (Nazi POW speaking of WWI and WWII) [sound familiar?]

For god's sake people...pick up a history book once in awhile..

"Not to know what happened before one was born is always to be a child." - Cicero.

well chief...it was a fun run...but your time was up decades ago...

the University of Illinois (my beloved alma mater) is announcing that it will no longer use suburban white boys to dance around in an over-exaggerated manner in regalia depicting the Oglala Sioux tribe (that coincidentally did not wish the University to continue using) in order to whip other suburban white kids (most of them drunk off their ass and awaiting the next trip to cure to McKinley to cure some VD) into a frenzy at sporting events.

that's right...Chief Illiniwek will no longer be the "symbol" of the University of Illinois.

this decision will be announced just after two pissed off suburban white kids file suit seeking an injunction to prevent the University from doing the moral thing and getting rid of the Chief. they are claiming doing so would limit their freedom of speech (as if they still would not be able to play dress up and act the fool) and their future economic benefit. I must admit, the latter is one hell of an amusing argument...when you strip it down to its essence, these educated white men want to court to declare the University must continue to degrade a people that endured one of largest campaigns of genocide the world has ever seen because without them being able to further mock these nations, they will lose out on some cash (and we all know how hard life will be for suburban white men...hell, they might have to start in middle-management now).

is there anything more cracker than suing to maintain the right to make money off shitting on indigenous peoples?

but seriously...the important thing is this...the old locker room stool I yanked from my time at Illinois will be worth some money. woot.

so Chief...thanks for the memories...don't let the centuries of brutal repression keep you down.