another round of insomnia

so much i wish my fingers would let me say...so much i wish my head didn't stop my heart from blurting out...so much love i want to give and share...so much trust i try so hard to give...so much emptiness in my soul...so much anger...so much confusion...so much regret...so much attempting to understand...so much unrealized hope...so much blame...so much shame...

such a lack of laughter...such a lack of smiles...such a lack of patience...such an aching at my core...

so many jumbled emotions...so many jumbled thoughts...so many kisses left on my lips...so many "i love you"s left on my tongue...so many gentle touches left on my fingertips...so many "you are all i ever want and need" looks still in my eyes...so many squeezes left in my arms...so many dreams left in my heart...

so much room left in the subaru...so much room left in my closet...so much room left in my bed...so much room left in my life...so much room left in my heart...

i will love this love forever...