taking my eyes off the rain...

i was in a really good mood for awhile tonight...it has been awhile. very interesting timing...considering what may be happening this weekend. was in the car, blasting music and screaming along to it on my way to blow some more money on music and clothes when i just started to smile uncontrollably, followed by a brief stint of laughter, brought on partly by the absurdity of it all. the feeling lasted a few hours...and even now the pit in my stomach is nowhere near as deep as it has been.

maybe it was the upturn at work...maybe it was the typed banter back and forth with technicolor catie...maybe it was yet another step towards independence...maybe it was the knowledge that ski season is approaching...maybe it was the prospect of my first big-time brief...maybe it was the decent workout...maybe it was fitting into size 30 jeans again...who knows...maybe it was none of the above.

even the songs that are normally reserved to go with the dreariest of moods became upbeat. perhaps i just finally snapped and lost what little of my mind was remaining.

had another of those moments...albeit much, much briefer the other day at lunch...walking through downtown albuquerque with a brisk breeze, traffic and folks in suits walking around...for a minute i felt like i was not in the middle of nowhere.

maybe i am getting better...maybe the concrete i inhaled last night and this morning triggered something in the pleasure centers of my brain. either way, hermione will talk me through it.

don't think i don't know...take it easy on me, make it easy on yourself