david blaine and barry bonds should go away and more UN troubles...

david blaine lived in a fishbowl for 7 days. hoo-fucking-ray. does anybody else out there find themselves disappointed that something didn't go tragically wrong with his latest bullshit stunt? i know it makes me a horrible person, but something about this asshole just really, really irks me. i mean, i am all for testing the limits of human endurance...hell, i want to be an adventure racer...but living in a box and in a fishbowl for a week is just plain fucking stupid. and then, the moment of truth...could he hold his breath underwater for 9 minutes and break the world record. no...you failed asshole. yet still there were thousands of people on hand to see a man, in a giant fishbowl, hold his breath. and we wonder why the rest of the world looks on americans as ignorant shitheads. please david...just go away.

speaking of going away...barry bonds looks softer this year, maybe his hat size is shrinking as well. another asshole that needs to leave, immediately (especially considering my beloved cubbies are in line to give up 714 and 715, after we had to give up 62 to big mac...it just keeps getting worse for us). i got news for you barry...people are not rooting against you because you are black, or even because your juicing habits make jose canseco look downright law-abiding...they are rooting against you because you are a complete jackass and fuckhead. they hate you not because you can hit a ball or because you are a cheat, they hate you because you are you. god i hope the feds move in for an arrest before he hits another one...and in the meantime, i suggest rich hill throw every pitch at his gargantuan head tonight.

the UN is having some bad press again (at least try and act surprised). darfur refugees went on a rampage and killed an aid worker. they are demanding UN forces get in and administer law and order to protect them. of course the UN is claiming they are going to, but it takes time. which makes me wonder...given that this is one of the worst humanitarian disasters in recorded history...why the fuck is a major UN force not on the ground already? of course they had to wait for Sudanese approval...which just makes you slap your head and saw "wa?" although i suppose if you have to await approval in situations like this, they you never have to worry about botching it like rwanda. makes me a proud member of western civilization.

speaking of being proud of the UN...now their workers are raping little girls in liberia. according to a report by Save the Children, UN workers are making little girls give them sex for favors. but don't worry, the UN is all over it, handing down punishment for such disgusting behavior...even calling it "unacceptable behavior." (understatement of the year goes to jordan ryan, the UN humanitarian coordinator in liberia). seriously, they even suspended someone. what other job can you rape a little girl on company time and only be suspended? if you can get away with that shit, imagine how us average slackers would fare. but seriously...it makes me rather ill that the organization in charge of giving these people humanitarian aid reacts to it's workers sexually abusing little girls by suspending only one worker. no jordan ryan...THAT is unacceptable behavior. once again, the UN should be ashamed.

now and again it seems worse than it is...but mostly the view is accurate...