what does that even mean?

as many of you know - I have been slammed as of late...my days and nights spent pouring through countless cases and updates and thousands of pages of records and transcripts trying to right those wrongs that steal a little more of america every day. and so I did not have the time and/or energy to follow the end of the primary season with the vigor I may have liked...but in the process I have realized something very telling about myself and what it may say for america - although I am unsure of what that tell is.

a young black man from a single mother will receive the nomination of the democratic party...a young black man who was born when the democratic party had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the next stage of advancing the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all - even blacks. that same young black man will likely be sworn in as the leader the nation within eight months time.

I am not amazed. but what does that say? it isn't like I ever could even begin to fathom the realities of historic racism in this nation - I grew up in hillary's old stomping grounds and was so assured of attending college I applied to all of one. I am young, I was born well after the civil rights era* and was lucky enough to be part of the generation known more for loafing than anything else.

so what does it say that I am not amazed that a young black man is going to be our president? does it speak well for our youth? or does it speak to just how different of a reality a white guy from the suburbs lives as opposed to a black kid in the city? or is it simultaneously a sign of how far things have come, and how incredibly far is still left to travel.

in the end all I can figure is that the years I have spent in new mexico, the people I have met, known and come to call friend (for some of you, "friend" remains a grossly inadequate nomenclature) have left a profound impact. for that reason, as much as I may bitch when the snows have melted, I would not change it for anything.

and still, I'm stuck with the same questions - what does that say about this world? this country? this place? myself?

remember this, no matter what someone did: that they once were just a kid at breast and in bib, in blanket and crib. so just reach inside yourself and find the part that still needs help, find that part in someone else - and you'll do good.



* I am always perturbed by the term "civil rights era" - it seems to me that it serves only as an indicator of a time past...and I refuse to admit that civil rights are becoming a thing of the past, something that only previous generations concerned themselves with.