hating...

how random play always seems to throw out an endless string of horrifically sad tunes when they most fit your mood...

the utter lack of blues music in the southwest...

too many 60 degree days in december, january and february...

fire scortched earth beside I-40, undoubtedly the result of some schmuck throwing a cigarette out his or her window...

texas license plates and the people who drive the cars they adorn...

suv's that are impossible to see around, and despite their behemoth size their inability to fit half the shit my bru can pack in...

the failure of the american auto industry to be responsible and put out vehicles that use less than 30 mpg...

the needless, slow slaughter of hundreds of thousands of iraq's children compliments of radiation, a decade plus of constant bombing, famine and disease...all done in the name of keeping weapons of mass destruction out of saddam's hands...and then us going in there to kick him out because we figured he could still make them anyways...

a century of western mishandling of the middle east and the resulting anger and hatred causing death and misery everywhere...

the way we always act like it isn't the end...like this goodbye isn't really goodbye...

checking my wallet at the gas station and realizing my atm card remained in the machine at smith's...(but very grateful to whoever turned it in rather than go on a spending spree)...

this town and everything it represents...

that my trust has been tampered with...

how it is always easier for the one with someone else...

how it used to be so easy, how i never even tried...

how every day i regret that conversation in november of 1998, the pain it caused, and the rift that perhaps never healed...

that i could not escape the midwesterner in me, that after all this, i just want to go home...

that i don't even know where home is anymore...

that memories get tainted...

and that it takes them far too long to cleanse themselves again...

that growing up always seems to mean heartache...

that ignorance, and not knowledge, actually is bliss...

what has become of the party of lincoln...

that democrats have become the party of clinton...

that nobody pays attention to history anymore, and their failure to learn from it will mean the end of us all...

that they shot lincoln, mlk, bobby kennedy...and left others alone...

any position relating to law enforcement or reducing crime that comes with the unofficial title of "czar"...

mild winters...

how it seems that everything serves as a reminder of mistakes, regret, hurt and lost hopes and dreams...

that i feel jealousy and bitterness...

that the cubs will never win a world series during my lifetime...

that the cubs will never even be in a world series during my lifetime...

that as a chicagoan from the northwest suburbs, my happiness is linked to the cubs success...

that i'm thinking of jumping...

that i haven't really been happy since boston stole my best friend...

something went wrong...can't be to blame...